The Conversation - Part Two
This conversation happened during the same meeting as The Conversation – Part One. It was revealing.
The Person: Did you have a good holiday? (referring to Christmas)
Me: I got through it. It was hard.
The Person: (nods, sips the tea she made while I was speaking. she did offer to make me a cup of tea)
Me: We went to visit Mom on Christmas Day. Eric and Em gave me some time alone with her.
The Person: Well, that’s good. So, you had a good Christmas then.
Me: (feeling my shoulders, and neck muscles tense) I spoke with my Aunt. She told me that they can feel, and see Mom. They can feel her spirit. It is full of love, of light. She is all over their house.
The Person: (perks up) How did that make you feel?
The Person: (nods her head yes)
Me: I was happy to know that Mom is somewhere. She is with my family, and they can see and feel her. She is light. She is brining them so much joy.
The Person: How do you feel about this?
Me: When I was listening to her and even after, I felt conflicted. I felt a bit of jealousy. But also, so happy to know that mom is somewhere, and is showing herself. I am not able to feel her at all.
The Person: Doesn’t that make you angry?
Me: No. Not at all.
The Person: No seriously. You are going through hell, and your Mom is choosing to go where people are happy instead of coming to you.
Me: I’m not angry at my Mom. Yes, I am sad, and a bit jealous. But my mom is somewhere. She is with my family, her sister. That is amazing.
The Person: You must be a bit angry at her. She rather her presence be felt with your happy family, than you. Especially since you tell me that you were so connected, so close.
Me: I am not angry at my Mom, not in any way. (I say this slowly) If there is anyone I am angry with, it is me for not doing enough for Mom, which is one of the reasons that I am here.
The Person: Sometimes we keep our feeling in the subconscious. Sometimes we do not know if we are angry. I wouldn’t blame you for being angry at your Mom. I would be angry if I were you. You are probably repressing that anger. (Back story, “The Person” had an unpleasant relationship with their Mother)
Me: Hmmm. That’s interesting.
This was our last conversation.