BreakFree

Who I Am Not

2011-10-09T12:38:00.000-04:00

During the past few weeks I realized that I needed toreconcile, who I was, who I am, and who others expect me to be. What I learnedwas this, my ability to be all things to all people has diminished. I strippedaway the pretense that I held, and took an honest look at the woman I am now.

Growing up I cared little for what others thought of me,that feeling has only become stronger with age. The standards that I set formyself are high. Yet they are not the expectations that I hold for others. Thatwould be ludicrous.

People want you to feel what they feel. It’s a part of human nature. We believethat if others can love the way we love, or hurt the way we hurt, thateverything will work out in our favour. Unfortunately that is not how life flows. Whether or not we like it, weare all unique, and how we acknowledge our own standards for life is in directcorrelation to how we feel about ourselves.

The ability to find balance between who we are, and who wewish to be, is derived through acceptance. Acknowledge both the good and uglyexperiences that have shaped you. As we age, we tend to gloss over the ugly sothat it molds to our idea of what should have happened. That is a truedisservice. Accepting things wehave done wrong, is the only way to move forward and learn. It may not bepleasant, but it is necessary.

There are only two people that I am accountable to, thefirst is myself, and the second is my daughter. Though there are many peoplewho I love and respect, I know that if I can look at my reflection in themirror and stare into the eyes of my daughter without regret, shame or fear,then I am living a life that I can be proud of. Because once regret, shame andfear are negated, love will fill up the empty space.

I challenge you to do the same in your own lives.

Where Do I Begin

2011-09-15T22:53:00.000-04:00

Wheredo I begin? I stare impatiently at the blinking cursor on my screen expectingthe words to flow as they once did. But a gift I took for granted is now gone, or rather lost.

Writing is an art, which requires skill, passion andconsistency. Procrastination in short stints does have the ability torejuvenate the creative force in a writer. But a prolong absence drives a wedgebetween the artist and their craft. When time is no longer an ally but rather aco-conspirator in your vacation from writing, how to you turn the tides? How doyou reclaim your love of writing?

A significant absence from writing more than likely wascaused by a compounding of life events. What was once held in high regard descends to a level that isdangerously close to extinction. This decent is not quick, but rather it isslow and painful. The writer isaware of what is happening and yet does nothing. I did nothing, until now. Forno reason in particular, today I hit my plateau. Today I decided that it wastime to write.

My perspective on life changed over the past few months.Gratitude has become a true life force, which embodies all that I carry out. Inow know that in order to find the gift that I have lost, I must rediscover myvoice as a writer. I welcome this journey with a newfound respect and love forwriting.

The Story Behind The Smile

2011-02-10T23:56:00.000-05:00

When I first joined Twitter in 2009, I honestly had no idea what to expect. Back then having a picture, a logo, or a work of art, as your avatar was not as prevalent as it is now. I followed the recommended list Twitter provided of people from all walks of life, with Ashton Kutcher being one of them. He shared a tweet listing helpful hints for new users to Twitter. Having a picture of yourself vs. the generic icon provided for your avatar was noted as one of them. So I decided to scan through my pictures on iPhoto until something jumped out at me. I first went with a silly picture of me at Disney. From there, I posted a picture of me looking super fly in my sunglasses, followed by an assortment of other smiley pictures. Until one day I selected the picture you currently see on my profile.

In the beginning I was changing my avatar picture as fast as you could blink. I remember my dear friend Diana, aka @adamsconsulting, or Queen of the #BA75, tweeting that she could not keep up with all of my changing looks. I took that statement to heart and decided to stick with one image, a simple picture of me smiling. There is nothing remarkable about the photo. It was taken on a very cold day, at a friend’s home, when Emma was a few days shy from turning four months. The house was filled with laughter, peace and warmth. It was a wonderful day. I now realize, that my profile picture captures a perfect moment in time in my life.

I decided for your amusement, as well as mine, to display a few of my various avatar pictures over the past two years. After you have finished laughing, I would love to know the story behind your Twitter profile picture!

Nourish The Soul-23 Ways To Be Happy

2011-01-30T17:07:00.001-05:00

Happiness like everything else in life is a choice. Often we forget that happiness arrives in the simplest package. Let’s strip away the grandeur and focus on the basics. What can we do to be happy? Below are 23 ways to indulge in happiness.

1. Smile.

2. Mail a postcard to yourself with the greeting I LOVE YOU.

3. Re-read your favourite book.

4. Jot down all the things that make you unhappy on a piece of paper, then tear it up into as many pieces as you can.

5. Start a flower garden.

6. Plant a small herb garden.

7. Laugh.

8. Start a gratitude journal.

9. Listen to the laughter of a child.

10. View old photo albums.

11. Send a thank you note to someone who would least expect it.

12. Set a goal.

13. Start saving for that goal.

14. Paint.

15. Play with your child.

16. Have breakfast for dinner.

17. Enjoy some toast with Nutella.

18. Sing. I mean sing out loud!

19. Read and view something inspiring.

20. Put on a puppet show for your family.

21. Decide that guilt is for the birds, and enjoy your favourite snack while watching all those shows you have recorded on your PVR or TIVO.

22. Enjoy a luxurious bubble bath accompanied by your beverage of choice, while reading that magazine you have been saving for just such an occasion.

23. Kiss someone you love!

I encourage you to add to this list. Find simple ways to bring happiness into your day.

Will The Real Guru Please Stand Up?

2011-01-07T21:58:00.004-05:00

gu·ru

–noun

Hinduism . a preceptor giving personal religious instruction.

an intellectual or spiritual guide or leader.

any person who counsels or advises; mentor: The elder senator was her political guru.

4. a leader in a particular field: the city's cultural gurus.

Dictionary.com

During a recent discussion with noted Chief Mischief Maker, Kris Colvin, we tweeted how certain buzz words were so 2010, words such as – transparency, authentic, engagement and guru.

If you are not a social media expert, yet you require the services of a true specialist in the field, how are you to disseminate between the hoards of strategists, experts, and gurus? How do you find and contact that one individual or company that has the ability to assist you with your blog, website or entire social media platform?

What do you hope to accomplish?

Though you may be indecisive on how to get there, you need to have a big picture vision of what success looks like. Does success constitute more hits, comments or followers to your blog? Is your end goal to incorporate certain aspects of social media into your business plan in order to enhance your company’s growth potential? Or do you simply hope to rejuvenate your website just for the sake of it? While you may have similar goals to others, how you reach them can entail a myriad of trials and errors.

Understand what you don’t know.

You are connected to what you feel are the connected social media platforms available to you, Twitter, Facebook, and/ or Linkedin. You share relevant content and respond to others within your timeline or stream. Just as you reach, what you feel is a decent follower count, the overconfidence creeps in. Heck, maybe, just maybe, you should change your profile bio, to include guru or expert. Then happily you uncover the truth. Your results are stagnant. Very little of what you are doing is truly making a difference with respect to your goal/s. You’ve reached the end of the road in as far as your knowledge content. After a little soul searching you decide that you are ready to take your work to the next level.

3. Start with the basics

To send an open tweet into cyberspace requesting guidance from a social media expert, is like walking into a burning building when there is no one there to rescue. It’s just plain stupid. If you decide to trek down that path, within seconds your twitter stream will be bombarded by noise. Various entities asserting themselves as experts will leap on your request. The problem is there will be quite a few who are what they say. But how will you be able to tell the difference? Start with the people you have come to trust on Twitter or a social site that you feel comfortable. Ask them for their opinion on who they would hire to help them with their social media strategy. Who do they consider to be an expert in the field? Is this person or company within your price range? Who do they believe has the unique ability to actively listen, be trustworthy and produce results?

Visit the Source

Review links. If someone purports to hold the key to unravel the mysteries of social media, then at the minimum their website should be phenomenal. Read every testament, post and comment related to their site and in turn, to their work. Their website should deliver a virtual resume of the projects worked on and successfully completed. If by clicking a link to their site, you are transported to a buy me now, help you later, just enter your credit card number, page then not working with this person, might be in your best interest. While those who are experts, strategists, and yes, even gurus may have unique ways to share their insights, one trait connects them: their actions. An abundance of hooting and hollering is not required. Instead, they deliver quality information, enticing you to want to know more. When it comes to unearthing true authorities in this field a certain mantra comes to mind – Don’t tell me, show me.

Purpose, Content and Consistency – 3 Tips For New Bloggers

2010-12-29T23:20:00.001-05:00

Purpose

Why do you want to start a blog? Is it to share your views on the world, your thoughts on politics, or the ins and outs of your life? Or is it to make money? Since I believe in being honest, I think that there is a large majority of people who hope to make money from blogging but have no idea how to do it. Guess what? Neither do I. I write for the pure love of writing. If by chance someone wishes to pay me for it, then that is a bonus. When I first started BreakFree, I had no idea what I was doing. Actually I still don’t know what I am doing. But that is where you will be different. You will have a clear idea of why you wish to become a blogger. If you can sort out the type of material you wish to share with your audience, then choosing a platform to convey your message will be a bit easier. In the end, you may opt to have more than one website. One site geared to your personal thoughts on everything and anything, and a second site, which may be your money generator. (But not in a fraudulent, illegal sort of way)

Content

If you are looking to start the engine on the money generating website, and you have no idea what to write or where to begin, then logon to Twitter. Post a tweet that you aspire to make money while blogging and boy oh boy, you will have host of @replies. The gurus, junkies, experts, and all round extraordinary folks in the blog to make money industry will pounce on your tweet. Some of them will have great ideas, others, well, not so much. Check out their sites, read their content and then decide if their process is one you wish to follow.

Your subject matter should be clear, concise and relevant to you. You thought I would say your audience didn’t you? Really, if you are not creating your website for the sole purpose of securing a sale, then what you write needs to come from your heart. If you are writing from the heart, then your content is undoubtedly relevant to you. The one thing I know for sure is that your audience will grow as they begin to connect with your words, your thoughts and your journey.

Consistency

Be consistent with your work. As I write these words, I am laughing to myself. I am consistently inconsistent with my blog posts. The wonderful people who follow BreakFree can rest on the surety that they never know when I will publish my next post. Trust me, for a person who wishes to make their living by writing; this is not a good thing. Provide a framework for your audience as to when they should expect to hear from you. If you plan on publishing a post once a week, then stick to it. Even if your deadline approaches and you have yet to finish your work, send a quick post out to your network. Let them know what is going on.

With regards to a personal website that chronicles your life, thoughts and blah, blah blah, you have a bit more leeway. But, do not take your audience for granted. Each person who decides to follow your blog deserves respect. If you write a few stellar posts, then suddenly decide to go underground for the next four months; do not expect that your audience will be waiting for you upon your return. You should present a guideline of how often you will post on your site. In BreakFree’s infancy I wrote up to 3 – 4 posts per month. It was downhill from there. I sauntered to once a month, then meandered to once every other month, let’s stop there. Late in 2010 I began to pick it up, and take my work seriously. I once again found the fun in writing, and that alone saved this website. Here is a simple truth if you are not having fun writing for your website, you will find it difficult to publish and grow your audience base.

If you keep purpose, content and consistency at the core of your website/blog, you will find the hurdle of getting started a little easier to conquer. Good Luck!

Your Twitter Name, Your Tweets, Your Legacy

2010-12-19T21:43:00.001-05:00

What is a Brand or a Brand Name?

Merriam-Webster’s definition is as follows:

brand

a : a class of goods identified by name as the product of a single firm or manufacturer

b : a characteristic or distinctive kind
c : brand name

brand name noun

1: an arbitrarily adopted name that is given by a manufacturer or merchant to an article or service to distinguish it as produced or sold by that manufacturer or merchant and that may be used and protected as a trademark

2: one having a well-known and usually highly regarded or marketable name

Do the following names invoke a reaction – @McDonalds, @NHL, or how about @adamsconsulting, @insanetruckdriv and @mistygirlph?

For those who earn their keep by delivering the corporate significance of their company through marketing, this post may not be for you. Instead the focus lies on those individuals who decided to create a Twitter account just for the heck of it. The concept of 40K followers in a few days did not enter their minds. Rather, the hope of connecting with those who shared similar interests in a online medium won their interest. Within weeks, their follower counts lay in the hundreds, in a year, that number grew to thousands. Your tweets were re-tweeted frequently as you displayed a consistent level of interaction with those you followed and people who followed you.

Thankfully I am neither a guru nor an expert on the matter of brands, but I am observant. Is it possible that everyday people leading unique lives have inadvertently turned themselves into brands? We register a brand not only by the feelings that emerge when we see the name of the company, but also by the company's identity in the world. While your Twitter name may not be on a billboard in Times Square, it is placed in a location that holds infinite power, cyberspace. What you choose to say in each of your tweets is a reflection of who you are and therefore an imprint on your personal brand. Take this thought one step further, what happens when your twitter handle and your website are the same name?

A corporation's marketing department will have strategically arrived at a plan to garner followers through a strong online attendance. Their motives are clear, reach out to as many people as possible in hopes of generating sales and increasing the bottom line. How they choose to use social media, as a tool is a debate left to others. The name of the company and the ties surrounding social media become one and the same. McDonalds the company is McDonalds on Facebook, or @McDonlads on Twitter. The company has the opportunity to present a human side to their firm. It is expected in this day and age for companies to adopt social media into their business plan.

When it comes to people who lead wonderful lives, yet are not corporations, an interesting event starts to take place the longer you are involved in various social media arenas. Your online presence ignites. What you once thought were a handful of harmless tweets, suddenly becomes the foundation for your personal brand. Still not convinced, then type your Twitter name into Google. Please, try not to freak out. How many pages did you go through before you stopped seeing your name? One, two, or six? The reality is simple, whether or not your intention was to create a social media existence, there you are.

Knowing this, will it change your next tweet? For one thing is certain, once you convey a message into the World Wide Web, the chances of your thoughts, ideas, rants and virtual life disappearing are slim to none.

Thank You Peterborough

2010-11-28T20:35:00.009-05:00

I know that I am blessed. Trust me, this statement does not surface without due consideration. Two years have passed since I first arrived in Peterborough and all I have to say is Thank You. I am unable to share what would have happened had I stayed in Toronto. I live by what has happened. This post is overdue, but not without cause. I needed to fully grasp the level of gratitude I held for the people I mention below. When the light finally dawns on you, that your life is filled with an abundance of love from new friends, blog readers, and a city, you become humbled. So I say thanks, to each and every one of you who has touched my life and helped me on my journey.

Heather – This woman embraced me like I was her sister. She opened her life and arms to me without reservation. She hosted a party as a way to welcome me to Peterborough, in April of 2009. She had only known me for two months. Heather became my anchor when things were dark and for that I am forever grateful. After my driving course was completed, I did what many knew I would do, I ignored going for my driving test. Over lunch at a Greek restaurant on a spring day in 2010, Heather looked me in the eye and said enough was enough. She wanted me driving by my birthday. She would do everything within her power to help me fulfill a life long dream. Inward, I knew I was humoring her, while I nodded with her in agreement. But Heather did not let me off that easily. In June we began our one on one driving lessons. She encouraged my progress, and corrected my errors all in a manner that I was unaccustomed. She helped me feel comfortable behind the wheel of my car. Through her approach my self-esteem around driving, flourished. Heather believed in me. Heather, I thank you.

Bonnie - I met Bonnie in January of 2009. She became Emma’s caregiver a month later. I found her kind, with a smile which radiated. As I look back, I realize how she changed my life considerably. From the start, Bonnie treated Emma with the same love, respect and consistency which she showed her own children. I watched Emma flourish and develop under her guidance. But something happened along the way. Bonnie became my friend. Someone I could count on and trust. Trust has never been easy for me. I believe it is a quality that needs to be earned. But once I do allow myself to open up and trust someone, that person knows, they have a friend for life. Bonnie, I thank you.

Graeme – I first met Graeme when Michael and I were house hunting in Peterborough in the fall of 2008. As Manager of the branch where I hoped to work, I knew I needed his support. What I received was a champion who was committed to my success. I worked at his branch from February – September of 2009, and when I left, Graeme continued to help secure my position in Peterborough. Graeme had no reason to go out of his way to help this stranger from Toronto. But he did. Thorough his support, as of November 15^th, 2010, I have returned to the company where my career was launched. Graeme, I thank you.

Friends - Vanessa, Ryanne, Dana, Ruth, Jennifer, Danielle, Nicole, Peter, Ale, Patrick, Jessica, Lynda, Steve, Corina, Val, Dave, Shay, Catherine, Lily, Melissa, Cathy and Marilyn, each of these people have helped transform my life for the better. Some are new friends; some have been with me since the beginning. Friendship, like many good things, tends to arrive when you least expect it. When you find people who support you and the decisions that you make, well you need to be grateful. To all of you, I thank you.

To my 29 blog followers – Wow, where do I begin? I am honored that all of you have taken the time and the energy to follow me through the ups and downs that is my life. You have hung around to read my sporadic postings. BreakFree has become an integral part of who I am, and to know that you are out there, at times holding my hand, or urging me forward, affects me more than words can say. To my 29, I thank you.

Peterborough – A city with a small town feel. Those who say you are hard to know have judged you unfairly. You are beautiful, generous and open. I have found grace in your citizens and welcome in your community. Life is about taking chances, and you have taken a chance on me. I will do all that I can not to let you down. To the City of Peterborough, I thank you.

So Far, This Is What I Know

2010-11-12T21:02:00.007-05:00

Each parent carries certain hopes and dreams for their children, couple that with the advice we would like to share with them, life can often feel a bit challenging. Our dreams of little Johnny becoming a doctor, or little Johnny taking his first step or little Johnny staying out of trouble require an act of faith, faith in our ability as parents and as people. Our children may not always follow our advice but if they believe the guidance comes from our hearts and our unconditional love for them, I know the ideas will take root inside their subconscious. After 37 years on this planet, I have summed up what I know into 10 bits of wisdom that I wish to pass on to my daughter. They are founded on my belief that life is a phenomenal journey that should never be taken for granted.

Dear Emma,

I have 10 dreams, or rather ideals that I hold dear for you. The first 6 are rooted in who I hope you become. The last four result from your Mom’s connection with understanding money and its importance in life.

Be true to Yourself.
Love Unconditionally.
Be Kind.
Be Grateful.
Live in the Now.
Be Fearless.
Recognize the difference between credit and debit. (You would be surprised how many people tend to mix them up)
Please understand that Credit Cards are neither your friend nor your enemy, they are entities that you must treat them with respect.
Never buy anything jointly which you could not afford on your own.
Money is not evil, and being wealthy does not condemn you. But it is important that you know money has no soul. Only people do. How you chose to act with or without money will be a testament to your character.

Love always,

Mom

So I ask you, what advice do you have for your children? After all you have learned over the years, what words of wisdom do you hope they will follow?

Hey Tia, I Finally Get It!

2010-10-30T14:47:00.009-04:00

In a recent tweet I mentioned to my Life Coach and friend Tia Singh that all we worked on last year during our coaching sessions, now made sense. Don’t get me wrong, my brain understood all that was being said and asked of me. But my heart did not. I would envision my future and all that I dreamed of becoming, but at my core, I held tightly to my doubts. Could I actually become a well-paid writer, living a life filled with passion and gratitude? A year ago, the answer was no. With a full time job in the finance industry (which does not spark creativity, unless you are doing something illegal), a 2-year-old daughter and a life where I actually felt there were no possibilities. I was trapped. And all of Tia’s good intentions and coaching were parked into a small corner in the back of my mind. And for this, I am now eternally grateful.

A month ago, I had a meeting with a woman, who hoped to start a business. Her excitement and optimism for life was refreshing. As she shared her plan for the future, I interjected with “I think you can do this.”

Her answer was, “I know this will happen.”

It was said with such conviction, that I had no reply. She must have noticed that I looked dumfounded, because in her next breath she said three words that awoke me from my internal sleep.

“I have faith.”

At the end of our hour long discussion, I was hungry. Something was missing from my life, which I could not put my finger on. She became my trigger. She mentioned a book, which I had heard about, but not read. This book, I felt was one of those hokey, faux spiritual, make you feel good for a second, waste of money and time purchases. Sometimes it is such a joy to be wrong!

The book was, The Secret, by Rhonda Bryne. Even after that life-changing meeting, it still took me over a week to decide to purchase it. On Wednesday, September 29^th, The Secret and Tia’s coaching began to work their magic in my life. Or rather, I was ready to embrace them. As I read, took notes, laughed, and smiled, I realized that much of what I was reading, I already knew and believed. From as early as I can remember, my Mom has said, “Your thoughts can condemn you. What you think has power.”

Fun stuff, for a kid. But, I listened to her. Whenever negative thoughts would enter my mind, I would fight them. My Mother had a plan for me. It never wavered; first high school, then university, and finally I would be rewarded with a good job. I recall a day in my teens, when I got on the bus and started up a discussion with the bus driver. He asked me what I planned on doing after high school, to which I replied that next up on my plate was university. To this day, I am thrilled that there were no cars in front of us, because that man spent way too long looking at me in disbelief than was necessary. I, on the other hand was a bit confused by his distrust of my statement. There was no other option. My path had been grilled into me and I knew no other outcome.

Memory after memory all summed up to one conclusion. What I desired most, I received. What I knew to be true, even before it came to me, became my reality, some good and some not so good. Now, years later, I am humbled to take the teachings of my Mother, with the knowledge of The Secret and combine them with Tia Singh’s insight. Together with my new found spark for life and an honest belief that what I want will come to pass; I live a life overflowing with love, and gratitude. And my reality is whatever I want it to be.

Mother of the Year - Not in my Future

2010-09-26T23:14:00.012-04:00

I realized something the other day. I will never win Mother of the Year. Really, I won’t. In my mind women who win Mother of the Year are patient, calm, soothing, beautiful, and relaxed, ok, they are probably medicated, but nonetheless they never yell at their kids. When Emma hits that last nerve, I yell. Then I feel bad. Maybe A-type personalities should not have children.

Here’s my issue. I want Emma to grow up to be a good person. I pray that she understands her self worth, and values the thoughts and lives of others. I hope that she is confident without becoming arrogant. I want her to live each day as she does now, to its’ fullest. So what’s the issue you ask? She obviously was first in line when the good Lord handed out the stubborn gene. I want her to do things my way, and low and behold, my child has other ideas. She’s only three. What’s up with that? The funny thing is, as much as I want to pull out my hair sometimes, I am also very proud of her. Yes, she tests her limits, as all kids do, but deep inside, way down deep, I am thrilled that she does not always just give in to what I say. She stands up for herself. And she will do her best to wait you out until she gets what she wants. Unfortunately for her, I have all the time in the world.

Do I get upset when she cries? The answer is Yes, and No. If Emma is hurt or sick, or there is truly something wrong, there is nothing in this world that will keep me from my child. BUT, if she is crying because she is not getting her way, well tough. Cry on little baby, cry on! Parents know that crying is a weapon in a child’s arsenal. But yet, time and time again, the crying weapon is loaded and cocked, and parents quickly give in. Note to parents, we are not helping our kids. In fact by giving in each time they cry for something that is not going their way, we are creating monsters.

All right, I can see all of your eyes rolling and your heads swaying. You are probably thinking I have never experienced the dreaded Mall Meltdown. You know the one, with the kicking, screaming, hitting and my personal favourite, biting. My friends on more than one occasion I have been the lucky recipient of the Mall Meltdown. My advice. Grow a pair. The point of a Mall Meltdown is for you to be embarrassed and concede. When your child is acting like the demon seed, and you wish to the heavens you had some Holy Water to throw on them, do not give in. Wait them out. If you can’t wait them out, pick them up and leave. Don’t scream over them; don’t use idle threats, just leave. Simple. Diffuse the situation. You need to calm down. I am pretty sure that by now you feel that everyone at the mall believes that you cannot handle your child, but worse than that, you feel that they may be right. You need to retreat to your comfort zone. You need to breathe. Go home.

If our children receive the reaction they are looking for in us, trust me they will repeat their behaviour. If they don’t…..then maybe, just maybe your next trip to the mall will be without incident. One final tip, during that visit to the mall, don’t pass by any toy stores, food courts, pet stores, cinemas, video game stores, better yet, just hire a babysitter and go to the mall alone!

Money, Power and You

2010-07-04T22:32:00.006-04:00

After writing the Senior Dilemma, I really wanted to share ideas that could give my readers power, power over their finances and their future. Though the procedures and concepts that I will discuss are Canadian, I hope that my American friends take the time to research ways to start financially securing their futures.

Let’s start with the basics.

1. Pay yourself first

Each of us carries heavy financial burdens. Monthly bills, the rent, your mortgage, car expenses, are an endless list of debt that at times clouds any hope of a silver lining. There is always a reason as to why we are unable to put away a few dollars. I am here to tell you not to buy into that gibberish. Set realistic goals. If you are paid bi-weekly try a goal of $25 dollars per pay-cheque. WOW! Seems a little too high, well to break it down, $25 amounts to $0.14 a day. You read that right. You have no excuse. Check your pockets, the bottom of your purse, between the cushions on your sofa, and when you find those coins (pennies are money too!), throw them into a jar. Once the jar is half filled, go to the dollar store and purchase coin wrappers. I know that banks will only accept your change if wrapped. Get the kids to help. Make it a family experiment.

The Savings account vs. Under the Mattress

First off, let me say, that Banks, and Investment Firms, are not greedy. That unfortunately is a human trait. Banks, and Investment Firms are made up of bricks, mortar, glass and wood. The people who work for these institutions have the potential to show true good in this world as well as pure evil. My advice is to do your homework. Be cautious, but don’t allow the misdeeds of some to brand the entire group of individuals who work in the financial industry. We all know the damage that comes when we make an entire group the scapegoat for any misery that touches the world. So, with that, I offer three suggestions to help with your newfound wealth.

a) Tax Free Savings Account - TFSA

b) Registered Retirement Savings Plan - RRSP

c) Savings Bank account

Out of the three, the Tax Free Savings Account is my current favourite. Every Canadian, over the age of 18 should hold this type of savings vehicle. The government allows a maximum contribution of $5000 a year. DO NOT OVER CONTRIBUTE! I cannot stress that enough. The government considers the money that you contribute to the Tax Free Savings account, after tax dollars. Tax implications are nil, when you contribute or withdraw from the account. But one final reminder DO NOT OVER CONTRIBUTE! The government does not look favorably to those who over contribute. While the funds are in the account, you are earning interest on your money. You will not pay the government for those earnings. That money is yours. There are numerous investments you may hold in your TFSA, stocks, bonds, Guaranteed Investment Certificates (GICs), or allow your funds to just earn interest. Read up and figure out what is best for you and your family.

I have no intention of weighing you down with too much information. I want you to feel empowered with your finances and the choices, which you make. Money is not something to be afraid of, or to hate. Money is a means to an end, but do not let it control you. Own your finances.

The Senior Dilemma

2010-05-28T21:29:00.005-04:00

In the next few years, those who make up the Baby Boomer generation will become the largest demographic in North America. Our senior population is about to explode. Are we ready? Are they ready?

In the 1940’s when our Baby Boomers were born, life took on a simplistic yet male dominated approach to everyday living. The wife took care of the children, while the husband went out to work. As times changed, and women took on a central role with both the family and the finances, many of our Baby Boomers did not adjust with the period. In fact, taking on a rather rebellious stance, numerous Baby Boomers aged into adults and now seniors who decided to stick to the old ways of managing their household.

What does that mean? Who does it hurt if only one person was in control of the checkbook? Everybody. Now, when I say in control, I mean that the other spouse remained oblivious to the family’s finances. So let’s take a husband and a wife for example. The two have lived a long life together. They have three adult children who each have families of their own. From the on start of their marriage Mrs. Boomer was content to let Mr. Boomer handle all of those pesky finances. Heck, she had a house to run and that took up all of her time. Life takes a sad turn and Mr. Boomer has passed away. The kids surround their mom, during this horrific occasion. But life is about to get much worse.

The kids ask Mrs. Boomer if there was a will, was the mortgage paid off, did they have insurance, where do they bank, to which Mrs. Boomer breaks down crying. She does not know the answers to any of their questions. Mr. Boomer took care of those matters. After a few days of digging through boxes, and drawers the will is found, with the number to a lawyer.

From the meeting with the lawyer, the family discovers that Mr. Boomer took a second mortgage out on their home a few years back to help one of their adult children who was going through a difficult time. The other family members did not know of this. Mr. Boomer did not take mortgage life insurance, but he did leave a life insurance policy for $35,000. The second mortgage was for $95,000. Mrs. Boomer, who never worked outside of the home, or held credit in her own name, will not be able to qualify for a mortgage for the home she has lived in for over 30 years. Her children cannot afford to take on the property so the house will have to be sold. Mr. Boomer did leave a small pension, but after lawyer fees, real estate fees, probate fees, the balance at the end is minimal. Yet, the children are adamant on receiving their share.

Mrs. Boomer’s portion would cover rent in a small one-bedroom apartment, but she does not want to live alone. Each adult child offers their explanation as to why Mrs. Boomer should not live with them. The children decide that a nursing home will provide the care she that she needs. But the question is raised, who will pay for the home? What happens next will break your heart. Mrs. Boomer is dropped off at a government run nursing home facility. Left to fend for herself, for the first time in her life. If this was simply a work of fiction, I would be appalled. Sadly this story is true. This is happening right now, and with increasing frequency.

Whose responsibility is it to take care of our elders? In my next post I will touch upon a few easy ideas that if implemented early, may help you and your loved ones avoid Mrs. Boomer’s fate.

Own Your Finances

2010-03-24T20:59:00.008-04:00

After 10 years in the financial industry I recently found out a simple yet startling fact. When you are the secondary person on a loan, credit card, or mortgage, you are NOT establishing credit. The primary person is the only one whose credit is being affected. Well, so what you say? Who cares? Well I do, for starters. I care when I sit down with individuals who are in there fifties and they have no credit history, because their spouse was primary on all credit deals. By the time I see them a separation has taken place or they are in the final throws of an ugly divorce and they hope to obtain financing for a mortgage. Well guess what, no one besides the scary guy who hangs out at the back of alley will give you a mortgage. Unlike a financial institution, Mr. I Will Break Your Legs does not care if you do not have a beacon score, he does not mind if someone else took charge of all the finances for you, in fact he loves it. You are a sucker in his eyes, and unfortunately you will get burned.

In the past few months, I cannot count the number of men and women who have sat in front of me, with distraught faces. To realize at this life stage, you are unable to obtain a loan because you lack a sufficient credit history, is stressing, but let us take it one step further. Many of these same individuals did not pay any of the household bills, in fact all the bills were set up in the name of their spouse. The cable, phone and hydro companies do not recognize these individuals. For lack of a better phrase, you do not exist. For some, this is a blessing. But when your life suddenly takes a sharp turn to the left, and you are now responsible for your own finances, the joy from being off the grid quickly diminishes.

My advice is to be involved in all aspects of your finances. Know how much money comes in, where it goes, and what is being paid. If you own a credit card, are you the primary or secondary person. If you are the secondary, apply for a credit card in your name only. If you are afraid to use it, then follow these steps.

Take that beautiful card, call your best friend, and go for dinner.
When the cheque arrives, split the amount with your friend. Or if you are feeling generous, pay for dinner
Wait a few days, for the charge to hit your VISA.
Pay your VISA in full.
Put your VISA away, where you will not be able to access it freely. A safety deposit box, the freezer, underneath the birdcage liner.
Repeat these steps every six to eight weeks.

Treat yourself well, yet stay on the path of responsibility. You will soon find that your credit begins to establish, while your beacon score rises. If you are unsure of what your credit looks like, please contact either Equifax or TransUnion for your free credit report. Of course, if you are totally impatient (like me) you could pay the fee, and receive it online.

Please let me know your thoughts and questions. If this topic interests you, I will take a closer look at how not owning your finances will harm you.

4 Reasons Why You Should Not Follow Me on Twitter

2010-01-07T21:57:00.010-05:00

In the past few weeks I have limited my time on Twitter. My family’s needs, the holidays and starting a new job have taken priority in my life. As I return to the fold I thought a short post on how and why I use twitter would help the masses decide if I am the kind of person they want to follow.

When I tweet, I tweet a lot.

I joined Twitter on March 13^th, 2009, and at this moment I am sitting at 8,064 tweets. I try to spend a dedicated amount of time on twitter, instead of flittering in and out. During that time I seek out friends who I may have missed during the day. I check out their tweet stream and will on occasion RT any good information they may have shared. I thank people who have RT’d my tweets, and converse with the cool people I follow and who follow me. But a huge amount of my tweets that I publish are RTs. Which leads me to reason number two as to why you should not follow me.

To RT or Not to RT.

I will only RT tweets that I find interesting, informative or fun. Though to some it may seem that I RT everything…trust me, I don’t. Every link that I RT, I visit and read before I publish to the rest of the twitter community. Regardless if the tweet is from someone I trust or just met, when it comes to this particular area, everyone is treated the same. I believe one of the best uses of Twitter is to share information with others. So if you are a person who has an issue with those who RT frequently, heed my warning. Do not follow me. I am not your girl.

I am friendly! Get over it already.

I’m nice. I like people. When I ask, “How are you?” I actually mean it. I tend to think before I speak and the same can be said with my tweeting. I love words such as, Wonderful, Awesome, Wow, Fantastic and Amazing. I like giving ((Hugs)) and receiving them. So if you are from the camp that believes, people who use “That’s Cool” in a tweet are freaks…well baby, consider me a Super Freak!

Side note: I’m friendly, not crazy. I will not @ reply anyone whose tweets consist of “How to whiten and brighten your teeth in 48 hours.”

I have a dentist. I’m good.

Auto Follow – No, No, No.

Before I decide to follow you, I complete these few steps:

a) I check out your avatar. Is it a photo, a drawing, a work of art? Or have you decided to upload a picture of that really cute guy from the 2006 Sears catalogue, to claim as your own.

b) I read your bio.

c) I take the time to read some of your tweets.

d) I try to find at least one of your tweets to RT. (ps, that’s my way of saying hello to you) This is also a tip I learned from @DannyBrown (Twitter user extraordinaire)

If you are looking for someone to follow you back right away, without any thought…once again I am not the girl for you.

Now you know all the reasons why you should not follow me, but if you decide to ignore this post, and want to come along for the ride, then great. Just make sure to say Hi! I promise to get back to you. @giselle2323 signing out!

5 Websites Worth Following

2009-11-22T22:37:00.009-05:00

Well I have procrastinated long enough. It is time to return from my sabbatical from writing. I figure I will ease into it with a short post on websites.

Between work, kids, family and the other million items on our plates, finding time to read and/or comment to a blog or website becomes relegated to “one day.” This becomes a greater challenge when our subscriptions to websites overpower our inbox. We tend to hit delete just to make room for another alert from another blog with a new post, without even taking the time to read the last one. There was a reason we subscribed in the first place, but now, that memory is gone.

Recently I decided to clean house. I unsubscribed to a horde of sites, and started to read and focus on a select few. Here is part one of the sites that I believe are worth the time.

Empowering, creative, diverse, informative and effective are a few attributes, which I connect with the following websites.

Empowering

www.lovestaci.com

Staci J Shelton administers a daily dose of love and encouragement. She is pure joy and a true gift to all that connect with her.

Creative

www.bitrebels.com

From design to technology and everything in between the writers of Bit Rebels find what is unique and share it with the masses.

Diverse

http://blank-thegraphicnovel.com

Ian LeWinter and Don Richmond the writer and artist of this graphic novel, have created a dark tale seeped in mystery and foreboding. It is evident that their work is created from a deep love for their craft.

Informative

http://www.fuelyourwriting.com/

This site is not just for writers. This site is for anyone who loves words, books and the messages they convey.

Effective

http://www.un-marketing.com/blog/

Scott Stratten is smart. His take on social media and the role that it plays in business and on a personal level is filled with humour, bravado and unrepentant honesty.

Need Help: Hire a Life Coach

2009-10-13T15:35:00.006-04:00

A few weeks back I was asked by Tia Singh , my life coach, to write and record a testimonial on our work together. For Tia, my answer was easy. I said yes. Both my written and video testimonials were personal, and heartfelt. Below, you will find why I feel a Life Coach, has the potential to help you discover and pursue your truest passions.

Working with Tia Singh

by Giselle MacLean

Before my time with Tia Singh, I knew and expected very little from a life coach. So what made me decide to hire one? The belief that I could do more with my life, but I just needed help in achieving my goals.

My thoughts and goals before I met Tia were wonderful, yet disjointed with no symmetry or plan as how to make them happen.

Scrapbook storeowner
Become a paid writer
Gain better exposure for my writing
Improve on the quality of my blog content
Find the time to write
Finish a short story
Figure out how to appreciate myself
Lean not to have guilt when I took time for myself
Write a children’s book

WOW! I look at this list now, six months since my first session with Tia and I am amazed. Not that my list was so long, but rather, how much I accomplished from this list.

Tia was not just a mentor, cheerleader extraordinaire, kick in the butt coach, No. Tia encompassed all of these traits and the ability to help a strong headed, woman, believe in her self worth and her brilliance.

Through working with Tia I found new excitement in my writing. My confidence opened numerous doors. I became a monthly contributor to Fuel Your Writing. I joined Elance, and was recently hired for my first job. I will contribute to PEARL magazine, a citywide publication for Peterborough, Ontario. My blog site traffic increased and I gained new followers.

Here is the best part: I always believed that I had a healthy sense of self. I loved and cared for myself. Well Bulgerdash! I found a zillion reasons as to why I could not take time for me. With Tia’s aid, I owned up to this and discovered a means to over come. Little by little, I would take time to write. As I became happier the rest of my world flowed with positive energy. What I asked from the Universe came to be. This gift, this ability, all manifested with Tia’s support. And for that, I am forever grateful.

A little Faith

2009-09-29T14:36:00.006-04:00

My morning started off badly.

Power had yet to return to my house, since yesterday afternoon. I had an interview scheduled for 9:30 am and a driving lesson for 3 pm. Michael heard on the radio, on his ride home that power would be back by 9:00 am. I could deal with that. As the battery life in my iphone continued to dwindle, I stayed abreast of the time. When 9:00 am hit and still no power, my concern level rose to yellow. When 9:10 am hit and still no power my concern level hit orange. I called Peterborough Utilities to find out when power would be back, the lady on the other end of the phone replied, “We think it will be about 11am.” My concern level hit RED!

I raced to my journal to find the name and the number of the lady who was to hold my phone interview. No journal. I searched the house from top to bottom and my journal was officially MIA. I called Peterborough Transit, “Sorry Miss, we do not have your item.” I called Emma’s daycare provider, but the phone just kept ringing. I called the taxi company with hopes that I left it in there and it was still there. (Sounds weird, but after all this is Peterborough). I struck out once again.

So I did what any confident, self-sufficient woman does when everything falls apart. I sat on my basement step and cried. I cried because tomorrow would be my last day of my job with a company I loved. I cried because my journal that contained pages upon pages of my written work, was gone, or in someone else’s hands. I cried because my interviewer would call and not be able to reach me, with no knowledge of my power outage situation. I cried because it felt like the only thing I could do correctly at that moment. I cried for a full two or so minutes. Then I felt better.

I grabbed Michael’s charged iphone sent an email to a good friend. With her help I had the number to my interviewer. I left a message on her voice mail which explained my situation. By 9:38 am she had called me back and rescheduled our interview. One down.

I decided that I needed to find my journal. Here is a little history, on this book. I take it with me everywhere. It holds thoughts, information, stories, meeting notes, basically my life. I tried Bonnie once again, with no avail. I was still convinced that I left it anywhere but in a place I could easily obtain it. Why was that?

On my way to Bonnie’s place I tried calling her again, this time she answered. I did my best to sound calm and in control, I’m pretty sure I did not fool her. I asked her if in Emma’s diaper bag, was a plastic bag that contained a journal and a few writing pads. She said yes.

Did I feel better? YES! But, a thought crept into my head. Why was I so ready to believe that I would be careless with an item as precious as my journal? My first instinct was to NOT believe in myself. The possibility and the reality that I would have secured the journal in Emma’s diaper bag to ensure that I did not misplace it was only a transitory thought.

It was a matter of Faith, or rather a lack of Faith in myself. If I had only trusted my instinct this very morning, when something beckoned me towards Emma’s diaper bag but in its place I ignored that instinct and threw my morning into a tizzy. The past few months, have forced me to gain a few insights into who I was, and who I am. I do not crack under pressure easily. In fact the two minutes of tears shed this morning lifted a huge burden I was carrying. I decided to stop beating myself up for some of the decisions that I have made recently. Instead I am focused on the present and the future. With October’s arrival a new journey awaits me. Faith in myself will remain my steadfast companion.

Trials and Errors - Part Two

2009-08-31T16:17:00.003-04:00

For each of us to move forward through life, we must understand and learn from our personal Trials and Errors. These events define our character and our belief in ourselves.

As August arrived, I fought to regain my perspective on the situations that were unfolding around me. If my life was a series of Trials, I needed to view them in a way which would make sense. I stripped away the emotion from the particulars and stared at the facts.

Fact 1. On August 28th, my contract at work ended.

Fact 2. There was a possibility to remain with my firm, part time but the details needed to be confirmed.

Fact 3. My mom needed to find an apartment. She wanted to take hold and embrace her independence.

Fact 4. I needed to find a new job.

Until the Trials above found any sort of closure, I would not allow myself to create any new projects.

One of the biggest Errors I was guilty of over the past 7 months was to pile too much on my plate. Between personal and professional goals, I became overwhelmed. I vowed to myself that I would set realistic goals and work on completing one task before moving onto the next.

I kept focused on the Trials which required my immediate attention.

Find my mother an apartment. I began the search on August 11th, and by August 18th, we secured the ideal apartment for her.

I applied for a position as an Account Manager for Commercial Financial Services. I did not receive the position; however, my interaction with the Vice President who interviewed me proved favourable. She recommended me to her counterpart on the Personal Financial Services division. The Regional Vice President and I had a frank and productive conversation.

After a few discussions, I received confirmation that for the month of September I would continue on at my firm, Monday, Wednesday and Friday.
Optimism and positive thinking are powerful forces of momentum – this was a good moment.

Since free time would soon be knocking on my door, I decided to join http://www.elance.com/. If my desire to become a freelance writer was to take shape, I needed to get my keister moving.

Another Trial that must be faced – The Driving Issue. Though most of my friends have their driver’s licenses, a few of us had yet to reach that milestone. That group recently shrunk, when a good friend of mine passed her road test and became a fully licensed driver. Ok! I’m motivated now. The time has come for this Chica to gain independence too.

I end with a quick recap of my goals for the next few months:
1. Learn to Drive
2. Find a permanent full-time job.
3. Submit proposals to Elance clients with hopes for winning work projects.

Errors may arise with some or all of these Trials. That’s ok. To move forward with my life and create new experiences, embracing each of these situations with zeal, positivity and ambition becomes not only an obligation to myself, but also a gift.

Trials and Errors – Part One

2009-08-18T16:32:00.006-04:00

Our lives are filled with Trials and Errors. If you think about it, neither word sounds engaging. The word Trial has an air of trepidation that surrounds it. While on the other hand we have the word Error, well that just plain sounds unpleasant. Who likes to make mistakes? Yet each day we encounter both trials and errors. At times they are so mundane that we do not realize we are going through one. The act of getting out of bed, can present a huge trial and error scenario for some.

Trial: The act of physically leaving the safety and comfort of your sleeping quarters

Error: The act of physically leaving the safety and comfort of your sleeping quarters – Depending on the outcome of your day!

Trials are the ups and downs that we go through daily. They are our moments, seconds, and breaths, which make up our life. For us to move forward to reach our next goal, achievement or even to reach for the remote, we must visit the land of Trials. Moving to Peterborough was a huge Trial for me. Not that I was opposed to living here, it was the truth that my life would change forever. A new life which forced a physical distance between my friends and I, and a loss of a job that I loved, remained at the forefront of my stress as my first winter in Peterborough embraced me. I kept busy and by the February I was working full time on a contract basis. I journeyed back to Toronto to visit with friends, and some ventured to Peterborough to spend time at my new digs. Now before you think, this is one of my “let’s all hold hands and sing” posts…let’s move on to Errors.

As Spring turned to Summer and new trials revealed themselves, I realized I needed to decide what to do with my life. With my contract ending at the end of August, finding a job became my sole focus. The idea of moving back to Toronto started to take shape. The opportunities for a new job seemed more viable in Toronto. My home. At once I became a networking maniac. I contacted friends, ex bosses, and co workers to discover if I could obtain a good job in TO. The news was positive.

Just a quick side note, it does pay to be your best self and perform at your highest level at work. People will take notice. And the result can be the difference in someone taking your call and someone not returning your call.

During this period the Error portion of this tale bubbled to the surface.

“Looking back, don’t you think this was a huge mistake?”

I was asked this question by several people. To which I replied with a perfectly polished response. My answer satisfied them and a new path started to emerge, with returning to Toronto as my prize.

One of the numerous Trials I had kept at bay decided to push itself front and center. The problem was that this one was a biggie! It seemed as soon as Mr. Biggie Trial broke through the door..more Biggies followed. One after another Trials mounted and I found myself on the verge of regret. Regret for the move, regret for my former position, and regret that I was so far from my network of friends…REGRET! The one word that I never associated with any of my decisions, now stared at me with a hint of triumph. Were they right? Did I make the biggest mistake of my life by moving? I wrestled with those questions for most of July. It was not a pretty month for this girl. I found that my writing suffered, my enjoyment of Social networking waned, and my outlook on life shifted towards the negative.

End of Part One

Simply Perfect

2009-08-11T14:32:00.004-04:00

What does perfection mean to you? Is it a moment of solitude, or a glass of wine while listening to your favourite musician, or something completely different?

Would you consider yourself a perfectionist? What does that truly mean?

A few words from Merriam-Webster OnLine Dictionary on the word “Perfect”

· Main Entry: 1per·fect
· Date: 14th century1 a : being entirely without fault or defect : flawless : satisfying all requirements : accurate c : corresponding to an ideal standard or abstract concept : faithfully reproducing the original; specifically : letter-perfect e : legally valid2 : expert, proficient 3 a : pure, total b : lacking in no essential detail : complete c obsolete : sane d : absolute, unequivocal e : of an extreme kind :

There are numerous individuals who believe that perfection is unattainable by mere mortals. That only an omniscient maker has the ability to attain perfection within themselves and all that they set forth to accomplish.

On the other side of the spectrum, are those who will toss the word Perfect around causally and flippantly.

To believe someone to be perfect is to face a certain fact. You are subjective. Perfection is subjective. Perfection lies in the eyes of the beholder. To me, perfection is pure, it is total, and it lacks nothing and encompasses everything. It may be a single moment when all is right with the world, and for once I have stopped long enough to realize the beauty that surrounds me. I find perfection when Emma rests her head on my shoulder and hugs me tightly. I view perfection on the website Fuel Your Photography, where each article provides insight, beauty and displays a deep love of art through photographs and words.

On occasion I have been labeled a perfectionist. It was never meant to be a compliment by those who sported with me the label. I find the term hilarious, especially when associated to me. I am far from a perfectionist. The intricate aspects, tasks, or thoughts that account for my life are far from ideal. I do believe that when you are performing a task, it is imperative to complete it to your ultimate satisfaction. Not the satisfaction of others. If you spend your entire life trying to please someone else, you will waste most of the valuable time you have on this planet.

How do I define my ultimate satisfaction? I find peace in my completed project. My mind is sated and I am happy.

Look Forward

2009-08-04T21:52:00.003-04:00

I was young, maybe nine or ten years of age when it happened. We decided to do a bit of shopping at Fairview Mall after my accordion practice. (Once you stop laughing, please continue). By the time we ate dinner and finished walking around the mall it was close to 9 pm. The walk from the bus stop to our home was approximately 10 minutes. On a winter night like this one, the time had the possibility of increasing. The sidewalk covered with remnants of the afternoons’ sprinkling of snow was slippery.

We approached the building that housed my former daycare. Something caught my eye as we passed the driveway which led to the underground parking lot, possibly a shadow, or blur. I decided to look back. Two figures hunched down, leaned against a cement wall. Since neither took notice of me, I returned to listening to my mother.

All was quiet except for my mom’s voice. I never heard them.

Pushed to the ground by an unseen force my world blurred. I watched three figures fighting on the road in front of me. Seconds felt momentous. Then the world stopped spinning, and as clarity resumed I focused on the three figures. My Mom shielded her head as Assailant #1 hit her. Assailant #2 did his best to keep away from the blows as he tried to grab her purse.

I heard her scream. Wow. I had no idea how loud her voice could reach. Soft spoken was an understatement when it came to my mom. One of the men forced her on to the ground. I heard someone yell. Thank God. Help was coming. The shouts from my hidden saviour grew. The person, now screaming, sounded young. Assailant #2 turned in my direction and seemed to freak out. He suddenly took off.

It felt as if someone pushed the pause button, because everything stopped. Assailant #1 stood there and stared in the direction of his partner, as he ran off and the night blanketed his silhouette. Then “Play” was resumed.

He circled around my mother, she was his prey.

He moved as if he had all night to achieve his goal. Maybe he did. My rescuer had not shown her face. Yet that did nothing to diminish her screams. He took up both straps of her purse and pulled. My Mom pulled back. She refused to let go. The tug of war did not end until a set of lights started to gain on him. He was determined not to leave without his prize. The car came to a stop behind him. Then I guess it must of hit home for him, perseverance over stubbornness. He bolted in the same direction as his partner.

Someone got out of the car and rushed over to my mom. With his aid my Mom stood up and hobbled to where I remained frozen. A firm hand gripped my arms. I felt them, as they began to shake me. To this day I wonder if either he or my mom hit me in the face. I never asked. I was snapped out of the trance. The screaming stopped.

A police car stopped in front of us. That was the last thing I remember from that night.

I took for granted the easiness of life before that night. I am always grateful for my assailants, simply because they sought only one thing. They were kids who wanted money. That was it. They had no desire for anything else. They figured we were an easy mark and they went for it. They did not expect the fight that ensued from my Mom. My Mother's friends reprimanded her actions for not letting go of her purse. The “What If’s” came out in truckloads. What if they… You can guess what the comments were. She did not care. She earned a meager income and had received her Christmas bonus. No one was taking it away from her.

Keep in mind; guns were not as prevalent back then as they are now. Muggers mugged you and then ran away. Or at least that was the prescription for the two boys, our assailants.

I lost the ability to walk without looking behind me. The fear that someone would grab me from behind remained a constant companion. I spent the next year or so being afraid. Regardless of the time of day, I needed to know who was behind me.

The reason I shared this story with you was not to pinpoint the fear but rather to help you understand what strength can arise from that fear. With time, I started to walk without turning around. One day, I stopped wondering who was behind me and I just walked. How did I finally get to that place: Plenty of time, and the growing belief that I was not a victim. What happened to my mom and I was horrible, but I refused to let my life be dictated by it. I learned to walk with a purpose. I never allowed my guard to fail when I was walking alone or with others. If someone decided to follow me too closely, I turned around and faced them. You would be surprised how quickly that simple act changes the mind of a possible aggressor. They suddenly understand one fundamental truth: You are not afraid.

A Dark Lesson in Creativity

2009-07-29T16:31:00.003-04:00

My earliest recollections of writing were all focused on the horror genre. I found my voice through stories or poetry seeped within darkness and fear. I believe I enjoyed writing along those lines, because it remained my polar opposite.

For the most part I am naturally positive. Even when, brief moments of doubt cover me, I shine through it. In my last post I mentioned my difficulties with finding my voice. So, in an attempt to spur my creative juices forward I went back to the beginning. The five poems below are dark, a bit unnerving and all together fun. To the wonderful people that read my blog for its positivity and light, you may not want to read further. Please know this; the support I received through your comments helped me turn a difficult corner.

For those who wish take a brief walk on the dark side…well.. follow me.

Grim’s Ode to You
By Giselle MacLean

Times a wasting
Don’t delay
Hurry up; you’re going to die today

Make your bed
Brush your teeth
You want to be fresh
For your trip upstream

Shedding tears are a waste of time
Seconds precious, pay much mind
Regrets you have many, so sorry to hear
Ah, time is up. Say goodbye my dear.

To my lover
By Giselle MacLean

Suffocate, Choke

Tighten your grip

Can not breathe nor find my voice

Your intention is clear,

When I pass, will you rejoice?

Your smile reveals all.

Take heed, in the dark I will find my way

Back to your side

Just wait and fear.

Follow me
By Giselle MacLean

Choose where I go, my path invites
Listen to my voice, is it not clear
All is fine,
Pain will ease.
Thoughts will cease.
Your eyes will close,
Nothing more will be.

Sorry
By Giselle MacLean

Decisive he approaches to kiss my lips

Elated I feel our embrace bounds

At once he pulls away, disbelief clouds his eyes

Tactful I remain silent, knowing I have deceived

His face now ashen, begins to fade away

I believe
By Giselle MacLean

Rather than accept
I choose to fear
If knowledge was power, my ignorance prevailed
Bliss from contempt
Righteousness denied
I feel safer cloning the masses, then on my own.
We yell for their pain
We scream for their demise
We dance to the atrocity in front of our lives.
No matter the consequence
It is not mine to care
The mass will turn on me one day
This is the only knowledge that I am clear.

The Caterpillar, The Cocoon, and The Butterfly: Which stage are you in?

2009-07-13T15:35:00.003-04:00

I have a healthy sense of self, but lately..not so much. As internal deadlines begin to creep up on me, I find that instead of plowing forward, I am standing still. I am trapped in the Cocoon stage of my self development. Here is the kicker, I realize that I am here, and I am still choosing to do nothing about it. What is going on?

About a month ago, someone whom I consider a mentor shared his insight with me, regarding my writing and the current stage in my growth. He emailed his thoughts after reading a previous bio, I submitted to Fuel Your Writing, a site that is dedicated to writers, to which I am a monthly contributor. He found that my bio was immersed in the Cocoon stage of my maturity. It lacked the power, excitement and drive that are associated with the Caterpillar and Butterfly stages. I have your attention now, don’t I!

The Caterpillar Stage: The Dream, The Goal, The Spark, Who you will Be
You are focused on your favourite show on television, brushing your teeth or even sleeping, when it hits. Your mind is suddenly filled with a multitude of unique ideas for your next novel, painting, or blog. You know what you need to do, and are finally inspired to get it done. You race to your computer and immediately start to jot your big picture ideas down. You don’t want to waste time with the minute details at this stage. The ideas stream from mind to screen. It is beautiful. You finally believe in your purpose and your abilities. There is no need to broadcast your new found self with the world, because they already know. Your friends and family are also caught up in your world wind of excitement. Honestly, who wouldn’t be? The story board is plotted, the paints and canvas are purchased, your new website is up and running, you begin.

The Cocoon Stage: The Process, The Delay, The Procrastination, The Wait
It is unfortunate that the Cocoon stage, though powerful in its own right, often goes unrecognized. Amidst our excitement, a slow undercurrent begins to take speed. We ignore its gnawing at first, but bits of self confidence start to chip away.

What if no one reads my work?
Am I really a good painter?
Everyone has a blog, who cares about another one?

As doubt enters the mind frame, and second guessing steps up to the plate, the doing, the work, the fundamentals, suddenly halt. Everything appears rather difficult. You may be midway into your project or you may not have put pen to paper as of yet. “Out of reach”, and “impossible” are phrases and words that are now integrated into your speech. Where did they come from? Why now?

My advice, take a break from your project. Not a long break, I am talking, a trip to the store kind of break, or watch your favourite program, maybe even visit a museum. Allow for a reprieve from your current state. In doing this, the opportunity to clear your mind is cemented. With time apathy, fear and contempt no longer confront you, when you re-visit your project. You may not welcome the work ahead, but you accept its necessity.

The Butterfly Stage: Finished Project, on Display for the World to See!

“Nothing good comes easy.” Juliet Betancourt – My Mother

Can I get a Whoot Whoot?! Your project is finished, well actually it is edited, re-edited, and now it is complete. You are amazed that what stared off as a spark is now a living, breathing entity, called completion. The weight on your shoulders starts to shift. It is lighter, but not gone. The reason is simple; the moment has arrived to broadcast your accomplishment. This time, the world is not gifted with insight. It is up to you to share your work. This is the final step. People want to know and enjoy your project. They want or rather they need to hear the steps, the stumbles and at times, the sacrifice, of your journey. This is not the time for dismissing the limelight. Shine, baby shine!

I decided to take my own advice. I stepped away from my journal, and took on other projects. I read, created a movie, cleaned the house, and most importantly, spent time with my daughter. The result from my short jaunt from writing, the ability and the desire to write this article.

I Promise.

2009-07-08T16:23:00.009-04:00

Life will reset. No it will not turn back to the beginning but rather to an undiscovered location.

A place so foreign, at first moment you tend to be frightened. But certain movements, words, feelings take on a familiar form.

Though you are afraid to take a breath, you give in and inhale.

You are surprised by the tingle along your arms, as Goosebumps cover your flesh.

You are surprised by the sensation in your stomach, as imaginary butterflies perform their dance.

You are surprised the desire to feel is stronger than to remain cloaked by grief

Finally, as you wait for the avalanche to quiet your new acquisition of joy, the reset completes.

The pain has dimed. You are able to absorb and view it from a different perspective.

Without pain’s control over your senses, clarity rebounds.

Face the Unknown..Ride a Roller Coaster!

2009-06-17T20:09:00.004-04:00

I find great excitement in the prospect of something new and different. Life centers on our ability to change and grow amidst the hurdles thrown in our direction. I am passionate about change.

When I was a child I held a healthy fear of roller coasters. Only crazy people would risk their life on an unstable ride, which caused ear-piercing screams from its riders. Then one summer when I was eleven, my cousin Nicky visited from Trinidad. I idolized Nicky. She was everything I hoped to become. She was tall, beautiful, outgoing, and fun! The five years she had on me, seemed monumental back then. She tried to sway me to try out one of the roller coasters at the C.N.E. (Canadian National Exhibition). I hated to look like a baby in front of her, so I agreed. I prayed that she would choose one of the coasters with small hills and quieter ear-piercing screams. But alas no, she chose the biggest, baddest, most rickety coaster at the fair. Oh yeah!

As we waited in line, I thought about ways to escape. Feigning a sudden illness, peeing my pants, and throwing up, all materialized as viable options. With each second we moved nearer to the front of the line. Tick, Tick, Tick. Nicky chatted about how much fun this would be, how much I would thank her for this, my optimism remained at the back of the line. Tick, Tick, Tick

We reached the front and an employee pointed us in the direction of one of the middle carts. Nicky objected. Hey maybe she could sense my apprehension, and was bowing out of this catastrophe! I was too wrapped up in my victory to realize that we were moving. We were moving to the first cart. I was eleven; really what had I done in that time, to be punished like this? To all those who knew me back then, keep your mouths shut!

We sat in the front car. I wanted to cry. This was the worst moment in my life. We started to move forward. Nope…I was wrong. This was the worst moment in my life. The car rolled slowly up, and up, and up. ..wait, how high were we supposed to go. Was this even legal? We reached the top and hovered over the edge.

I would love to describe the ride, but my eyes were closed tight. I am quite sure that everyone in the CNE stopped what they were doing, grabbed their children and ran for the exit, in order to escape the hideous bellowing from some crazed eleven year old on a roller coater. The ride was over faster than I could believe. I opened my eyes, when the car stopped and Nicky touched my arm. We started to walk away from the ride, when she asked me how I liked it. I told her the truth. I liked it. I loved the speed. I told her the next time; I would keep my eyes open. The next time turned out to be ten minutes later. We spent the better part of that day mastering all the coasters in the park. The unknown became known.

You may face the unknown with respect, understanding, and at times with fear, the point is to face it. Never shy away or allow your desire for the status quo to shield you from one of the infinite qualities that drives us as individuals, the ability to nurture our souls through the power of change.

Grace

2009-06-12T10:44:00.003-04:00

I needed to find an inspirational article or story that would help me find the light through the tunnel that my life currently inhabits. The act of searching for words to lift my spirits felt disheartening. I thought that if I could write the words that were necessary, maybe, the impact would tip the scale.

My heart breaks for my niece Grace, and her family. Grace Elizabeth Lea Fisher was born on Monday June 8th, at 6:30 am. From the start, little Grace was mounted with hardships. But she fought through. Doctors did not know if she would wait patiently to be carried to term. But she fought through. Doctors did not know if she would survive her birth. But she fought through. Today is Friday June 12th; the time is 10:00 am EST. Grace is on life support and she is still fighting. The strength of her spirit is breathtaking. She wants to be in the arms of her mother and father. She wants to live.

I am unable to work, or to think. I just want Grace to live. I consider myself powerful, but how do I will the impossible. I keep the faith. I believe. I remain focused. I have no other choices.

My faith tells me that anything is possible. I believe in Grace and her spirit. I believe that if her physical body is unable to sustain her that her spirit is powerful enough to live on and touch all those who love her. I am focused on only emitting love, positivity and hope. That is my promise to Baby Grace. And I never break a promise.

Romantic Love is alive and well in Twilight

2009-06-07T12:46:00.002-04:00

Last Sunday I decided to re-read Stephenie Meyer’s Twilight Saga Series. I finished Twilight and New Moon rather quickly. Tonight I started on Eclipse. Why did I start the series once again, when I have a huge pile of new books to read? I wanted, or rather, needed to grasp a better handle on why Stephen King felt it necessary to compose such condemnations on the author and the series during an interview in February 2009. While I hold a deep admiration for Mr. King and his work, I believe criticism of Meyer’s series was where his focus should have remained.

“Stephenie Meyer can’t write worth a darn. She’s not very good."

Please visit the link for the full interview. http://blogs.usaweekend.com/whos_news/2009/02/exclusive-steph.html

A writer’s journey is and will always be solitary. If blessed with a loving family and group of friends, the hours spent away while you work may not suffer lasting repercussions. It is imperative that artists support one another. I may not enjoy every novel, film, painting or song but I respect the artist for their courage to showcase his or her work. I believe that is why I was upset with the words of Mr. King regarding his view of S Meyer. While his commentary on the series and his utter dislike for them did not cause issue with me, what stuck a nerve was his attack on a fellow writer. How was that phrase necessary? This was not an act of constructive criticism. It appeared personal.

Stephen King: On Writing has remained on of my favourite works from the author. It inspired me at a time when I found it difficult to pick up my pen but I am aware of the consequences that arrive when a writer attacks another writer. There is no good side.

Here are my thoughts on Twilight.

Twilight is the first book in the series. Read it with an open mind and heart. Remember, the novel’s target audiences are young women aged 11 – 18. Place yourself in the mindset that impossible love exists. If after the first novel you feel a slight twinge of excitement, please continue with New Moon. Bella’s strength though subtle at the commencement of the series is unwavering. Her ability to decide and know her future at the tender age of 17 is astounding. She understands who she is and why she is here on this planet. Her love encompasses more than her mythical suitor, it highlights the awareness that love is not always clean, easy or simple. It can be complex, fractured and potent.

Romanticism is not dead. The series delves into the throws of romantic love. The sheer power that binds one person to another. The promise that each one of us may indeed find that ultimate partner who opens a part of our hearts and minds, which we did not know, existed. A soulmate.

The novels are a wonderful source for escapism. If you must choose between the film and the novel, please start with the novel. The series is an easy read. Take the time to embrace the belief that true love exists regardless of the skepticism of our world.

The War Rages On

2009-05-26T16:45:00.004-04:00

“Procrastination”, “I can’t”, “No”, “Not enough time”, “Some day”, “What if”

These are my Internal Demons.

“Now”, “Gut Feeling”, “Power”, “Independence”, “Love”

These are my Internal Angels.

The battle between my Internal Demons and Internal Angels rages on each day. I am always competent enough to find a logical reason as to why I am unable to do something for me. Here are a few:

Emma needs to eat…
A housekeeper is not in our budget at this time…
Oh, you want me to work, when I am at work..oh darn.

The question becomes, when I do have a free second, minute, or moment how do I spend that time?

Do I center all of my attention on one task in hopes to make it perfect? Yes, I am guilty of that.

I find peace and happiness through writing, playing and teaching Emma, watching movies with Michael, listening to my Mom, connecting with my network of friends on Twitter, reading, scrapbooking, eating, drinking wine and sleeping.

How do I ft all of these items into each day?

I allow what will happen to happen. I may not be able to enjoy each of these aspects each day, but I take joy with the ones that I can. When I relax and submerge into world where all is possible, the impossible happens.

My Internal Angel abets my zeal for life and all that it has to offer. And when things do not go as planned, my internal Angel reassures me that there is no need to worry. It was meant to be.

Though each day my Internal Demon connives new ways to issue doubt, worry and stress in my mind, the pattern is repetitive. I am learning to see the sings and fight them.

What are the signs?

Tension building my shoulders
Impatience
Feeling overwhelmed
I stop smiling

Once I am cognizant that I am in the throws of any of these signs, my internal Angel attacks.

What happens?

I pick up a pen and start to write
I relax my shoulders
I eat
I take deep breaths

I regain balance.

Being Brilliant

2009-05-26T14:07:00.005-04:00

Try this. Remain still, close your eyes and concentrate on the 20 items you performed brilliantly yesterday. Big tasks, little tasks, - any task. Here is the important part; the tasks need to be solely for you. Not for your significant other, or child or parent, you need to focus only on you.

I love this assignment. Truth be told there are not 20 tasks that I do on a daily basis that are only for me. So let us focus on what I did brilliantly over the past week and how I rewarded myself.

Brilliant Task: Play with my new Wii Fit that I received for my birthday. I used my Wii Fit for 58 minutes. I am happy to report that my Wii Fit age is 31! Whoo Whee!

Reward: I need to relax after working out, so that evening I decided that we needed to go out for dinner and watch a movie.

Brilliant Task: With the help of a good friend, I updated my blog site. I chose the template and all the words are mine, while my friend did all the rest.

Reward: A beautiful new site that embraces peace, love, creativity and fun.

Brilliant Task: Each day of the past week, I connected with others on Twitter, through Tweets and Re-Tweets.

Reward: My love for my Twitter community grows each day. I am filled with such happiness. What a fantastic reward.

Brilliant Task: I purchased two new books. 1. Bad Mother by Ayelet Waldman and 2. Twilight Director’s Notebook by Catherine Hardwicke.

Reward: Over the course of the next few weeks I can enjoy my books at my leisure.

Brilliant Task: Added three new apps to my iPhone. Fiction Classics, Shortcovers, and Cooking Mama.

Reward: What a pleasure to immerse my self in a fictional classic like Frankenstein, or Hound of The Baskervilles, perfectly displayed on my iPhone.

Shortcovers, provides wonderfully written excerpts from current fiction and non-fiction titles. I am able to receive insight into what could be my next favourite book.

Cooking Mama, a game that washes away all of my stress and allows me to spend a few minutes laughing and playing a game that focuses on the joy of cooking.

Brilliant Task: Competing this assignment submitted by my Life Coach Tia Singh. (aka @TiaSparkles on Twitter)

Reward: Smiling and loving all the big and little tasks that I centered on me.

Today I realized the rationale of the exercise. The focus was not on the 20 items, but rather to shift my focus on me and what brought me joy through my week.

Who I was, Who I am, Who I will be…is Now! Part Two.

2009-05-17T16:08:00.006-04:00

I decided to take the exercise in a different direction with regards to describing the Giselle of the future. I realized in order to unearth the secrets that surround this woman I needed to interview her.

Giselle: This is surreal. I thought we would look more a like.

Future Giselle: How so?

G: Well, I expected to see my reflection, with a few added wrinkles.

FG: (((smiles)) When you look at me, what do you see?

G: Your skin is clear, and smooth. Your tone, even. Your eyes…..Your stare is a bit overwhelming. You look both younger and older than your age. How is that possible?

FG: A lot has happened in the past ten years. I learned to love all that has occurred. The hard, the easy and the life altering.

G: What happened?

Future Giselle leans forward in her chair and takes my hands in hers.

FG: Honestly, you need to go through it. You need to make all the decisions that help us reach this point without an itinerary of what is to occur. Our future is seated upon the decisions that you make with our heart, mind and gut.

Giselle releases her hand.

G: Really. That is the story you want to go with. This is your chance to help me. To give me answers to what is plaguing my every waking moment. To tell me what to do!

FG: ((Laughs)) Tell you, what to do! That’s priceless. Seriously, Giselle, when has anyone ever been able to tell you what to do. For over 35 years, you have done exactly what you wanted. If you followed the direction of someone else, it was because you willfully chose that direction. Why do you think you are able to release yourself from people so easily? Choice and Independence

When you find that a direction is headed down a path that clashes with your beliefs and the vision of who you are, you disengage. That is the main reason people love and dislike you.

G: I guess.

FG: Trust me with this one. Your ability to chose the direction that follows your heart coupled with your unwavering independence are two qualities that have and will serve you well.

G: You sound so sure of yourself.

FG: Missy, I have ten years on you. You better hope that there are some things I figured out.

G: Are you still filled with doubt?

FG: Doubt no. Questions yes. I am filled with many questions.

G: Questions about?

FG: Everything. The world, people, politics…

G: Your past decisions?

FG: No. Never.

G: Really?

FG: Indecision is a cancer. Questions as to why a decision was made after the fact is a pointless waste of time and energy. The results of past decisions need to be accepted. Whether the choice was good or astonishingly bad. My understanding of who I am, and why I am here evolve with each choice. Why question something that spurs me forward.

G: So no regrets?

FG: I did have one. One that formed recently. I regretted not meeting with you earlier. I know the power of independence, but I also know that at times it is a lonely road.

G: What changed your mind on regretting that?

FG: The choice to regret my decision and my reaction to halt and destroy that regret were instantaneous. Each choice has brought us to this moment. To my life, and to my joy.

G: I think I get it.

FG: Good, but you need to believe what I tell you, rather than just think about it. I will share one thing with you and hope that the space-time continuum does not tear from my disclosure.

G: Ahh, I see we are still geeky.

FG: Yes we are! I want you to know that I am a successful writer. I am paid very well, for a career that I love.

G: Thank you, I needed to hear that.

FG: I know. Hun, you are in for a roller coaster ride, with drops, highs, twists and turns. Enjoy every moment. Be passionate about each endeavor. And always be proud of who you are. I love you.

Nothing is impossible.

2009-05-14T16:05:00.007-04:00

Imagine finding your ideal job. What would need to happen for your dreams to become reality? What would you need to do?

I truly believe in the verse, “Ask, then you will receive”…

I am on a quest to find the perfect job. Impossible you say? Well then you don’t know me. Nothing is impossible.

This is a letter to my future employer. Once my future employer reads it, they will know to get in touch with me right away and hire me.

Dear Future Employer:

I am a writer. Without writing I would cease to be.

Each person is born with a spark of creativity. As children, we allow ourselves to unearth our passion for life. We draw, write, act, sing, and play. We inhale and exhale creativity like it was our last breath. We understand why we are here. Then a shift occurs. We start to grow, and we begin to forget. As we forget our purpose, our creativity dwindles. At first, the spiral is slow, but with age, time, and new responsibilities, the speed increases. For many of us, we watch in silence as who we were becomes a part of our past. Even with my enormous love for reading and writing, I too, was headed down that path. The day I became a mother, I was able to end the spiral. I felt renewed as a person and a writer.

My first love is writing fiction. Though for the past few months, I have focused on non-fiction articles. For reference to my writing style and competence as a writer, please review my Blog Break Free A Little More Each Day . For your convenience, I have also included hard copies of articles from my Blog.

Why should you hire me? For the past nine years, I have forged a career in the financial services industry. While I hold a profound respect for my company and the people I work with, it is not my passion. Please note that I am more than happy to provide references, from Managers, co-workers, head office personnel as to my work ethic and general demeanor. I am proud of the work I have accomplished and the name I have built for myself in my company. Imagine the future that awaits the both of us as I incorporate my past experiences with my love for writing as the foundation of my new career.

I thank you for taking the time to read my letter. I believe that each moment of our lives leads us to a point where greatness is achieved. Our paths are now intersected and a decision is about to be made. I am ready. Ready to write your next article, blog post, editorial, or book.

Yours truly,

Your Future Employee

Who I was, Who I will be, Who I am…Now – Part One

2009-05-11T13:06:00.009-04:00

A few weeks ago my Life Coach Tia Singh (aka @TiaSparkles on Twitter) asked me to perform an exercise. She wanted me to close my eyes, and picture myself ten years from now. She asked me the following questions. Who was I? What did I look like? What were my thoughts? What did I do for a living? Where did I live? What did my house look like?

The purpose of the exercise was to immerse myself in all that I hope to be, and through that experience, begin to understand that my future self is here with me Now. I just have to believe it.

This post describes a segment of my future home. (Each of the three pictures shown above hold exterior attributes of my future home.)
Picturing the house is easy. It encompasses such intricate details. The iron gates at the front are guarded by tall portentous trees, which shield the noise of the busy street.

Once you drive past the legion of trees, the ground opens up to a field of flowers and grass. Colours blaze from one end to the other. All you can do is stop the car and step out, to fully embrace the vision. The colours are not just beautiful, they serve a purpose. They coerce your eyes to follow them, leading up to a curved driveway, and the beige stone house at the end of the path. Part inauspicious, part inviting, but entirely mystical, the lure of the house, prompts you to return to your car and proceed forward.

You park the car at the front of the seven concrete steps which lead to my double doors, painted fire engine red, of course! You expect a knocker, but alas no, I am still a city girl at heart. Use the doorbell!

I open the door. (I will describe ME, in Part two)

I welcome you with a hug. You have made a long journey to see me. As you take your first step into my home, I hear you gasp. I smile, because I had the same reaction when I first stepped into my home. You are staring forward. The back wall is a sheet of glass; your eyes are drawn past the glass to the blue-black mass of the ocean. White shards, crash into the surface as waves swirl up, then down, in perfect unison.

The sound of laughter breaks you from your trance. It’s the laugher of a child. We leave your bags at the front. There will be plenty of time to retrieve them later. I take your arm, and link it with mine. We pass a few doors and hallways that strewn out in different directions. But I lead you forward, to the wall of glass, to the laugher, to the center of my home.

You instantly turn towards Emma’s direction. She is watching “Finding Nemo” I believe for the 1000th time. For the 1000th time she is laughing at Bruce the Shark. She is sitting leather sectional with her feat up. The colour is on a winter white. Buffy, has her head on Emma’s lap. She strokes Buffy’s head, rhythmically. They are so in tune with each other. (But that is the way, with a child and her pet. )

“Emma, look who is here.”

She turns her head, looks at you and smiles. She does not attempt to get up, she does not want to disturb Buffy.

“Hello”. She says. “Mom-Mom (what she has called me since she was a year and a half) is so happy that you are here. She has not stopped talking about your visit.”

(Because I take each day with Emma as a gift, I am not able to see past her current age of 18months. I am not able to describe what a future Emma sounds or looks like.)

She turns back towards the tv. She is ten after all, and Nemo’s attraction is much stronger that yours. Sorry.

I want to show you more, but I understand you need to see the ocean. So we walk up to the glass and look out.

“It’s beautiful.” You say, as you face me.

End of Part one.

You, Me and ADHD.

2009-05-06T21:24:00.005-04:00

On January 25^th, 2002 I married a man who truly believed that the glass was half full. Four years later, I was running for the door.

This post is a brief look into our lives and how we live with ADHD.

In 2006, Michael was diagnosed with ADHD. The diagnosis did nothing to relieve my stress. I was happy to find out that there was a reason for what was going on with him, but his case was severe. Add to that his chronic insomnia and dealing with an un-fit working condition, life at home was hard. But we did our best to find the humour in our situation. I would ask him a question, and before I would finish, he would look at me and ask “What was the first part?” Did I mention that Michael has no short-term memory? His retention skills were… how should I phrase this, less than desirable.

Once Michael found a doctor who not only listened to him, but also had an honest curiosity regarding adults with ADHD, he was prescribed Ritalin. Looking back, I feel we both hoped that the medication would be the sole answer to our problems. We were wrong.

Michael needed to take three pills a day. With the retention of a sieve and factoring shift work, you can probably figure out how well that played out. I became a nag. I took it upon myself to carry the burden of memory for the both of us. Asking him if he took his medication became a punch line, one that lacked the laughter at the end of the joke.

Then one day, two years later along came Emma.

People always say that a child has the power to change you. Emma made me stronger. I started to truly tune into who I was, not just as a mother, but also as a woman, person, and a wife. Something had to give. On the outside I smiled, was nice to everyone, remained sweet and funny, all the qualities that people associate with me. Was I faking it? No. But I am an expert at hiding pain, anger, and stress. Being the center of everyone’s world can be intoxicating if you crave attention, but I don’t.

I was Emma’s center, Michael’s center and my Mom’s center. I was running out of air. So I chose to focus on one of the three. Emma. I had spent the last five years focused on Michael, and before that on my mother. If you are wondering when I started to pay attention to me, well that did not happen until March 14^th, 2009.

Fast forward to Wednesday April 8^th, 2009. We visited the doctor who had diagnosed Michael in 2006. It was the first time I had met him. I loved him instantly, his candor, his humour and the crazy masks that he kept on his wall. The Doctor asked Michael to bring his medication with him. Michael handed it to him and the look on the Doctor’s face was priceless. He told us that Michael’s medication was archaic. It probably worked initially, for a brief period. We sat in silence. For three years Michael has taken the incorrect form of Ritalin. For three years, I wondered, why I did not see a change? For three years I wondered if Michael suffered from something else? Three years.

So what does a woman do when she is faced with the fact that her husband has been taking the wrong medication…she finds peace. I stopped being angry. I let it all go.

Michael was prescribed a new medication. So far so good. Michael has a new doctor in Peterborough. So far so good. Michael is starting to believe that he will gain a better understanding of his ADHD through reading, counseling and acceptance. So far so good.

If you have a loved one with adult ADHD, my heart goes out to you. I can honestly say, “Been there, done that” to most issues around living with someone who has this diagnosis. My only advice is to find laughter and joy in all that you do. Laughter and joy are my superpowers. At times I thought I lost them, but they always returned in some form or another. Hold on to them tightly, because when the dark times come, they will help you find your way out.

What do you do when a Bat is in your house..RUN!

2009-04-25T16:45:00.004-04:00

Thursday April 15^th, 2009, we had just arrived home after an hour of practicing my driving techniques in the Memorial Center parking lot.

“Fast and Furious 5 - The Parking Lot Chronicles.” Coming July 2009

I strode towards my computer as Michael headed to the basement. I had just sat down at my desk when I heard “I think there is something down here!” The seven words every woman is dying to hear.

So I asked what any reasonable woman who has watched one to many horror movies asks “Is it alive and moving?”

To my utter dismay Michael said “Oh, yeah. I think it’s either a mouse or a bat.

All the warm fuzzies I had for Peterborough vanished in that moment. New words filled my mind. Most of them were not so nice. Michael suggested I venture down to the basement to take a look. Hmmm let me think about that..how about NO!

But I did go down to the basement, fighting with every rational thought. I entered the office and looked up. I heard it scurry before I saw it. When it passed over the glass panel it looked white and small.

“It’s a mouse.” I announced cheerfully. Whoa. That was close. I left the room to get ready to watch 24, when I heard Michael start to yell. “Oh it’s not a mouse. It just tried to get out.”

No good was coming from tonight.

I suggested the only sane thing I could “Let’s close the door, in case it gets out. It will end up just flying around the office.”

Michael agreed and we shut the door. We waited a few minutes before starting the show. It was quiet. No scurrying, no squeaks, no nothing. Michael mumbled something about maybe it had left. I being the loving and supporting wife that I am chose to agree!

We sat on the couch and I faced the door to the office and Michael sat across from me. We started to watch 24, and rather quickly I was swept up in Jack Bauer’s world of intrigue.

Kim Bauer arrives to see her father. She has searched for him for months, always one step behind him.

“I love you Dad….AHHHHHH RUUNN RUUNNAHHHHHH

The bat flew towards my head. I ran, Michael ran, and Buffy ran. I am not sure how we did not trip over each other as we bolted upstairs, the only escape route. As I got to the top of the stairs I slammed the door behind me. Yes, Michael and Buffy were already up there. They had beat me to safety. Who knew they were that fast.

“The bat can have the house. We’re out of here.” Yes, those were my exact words.

After an eternity, Michael decided he would try to capture the bat in a net so he could set it free outside. He crept downstairs and saw the baby bat. It was hanging on the blinds of our basement window. After two attempts Michael had the bat in the net. The baby bat cried, and I thought to myself..Ahhh…oh, I hope it’s Mom does not come looking for him. I held the door open as Michael took the bat outside and watched it fly off into the night.

What lesson did I learn from the evening of April 15^th, that when it comes to bats, Michael rocks with bravery, and I, well, I did much better than I ever imagined.

Twitter, the experience.

2009-04-19T20:25:00.006-04:00

Twitter from my perspective is a social media outlet allowing bits of information to flow from one person to the world. A tweet has a 140-character limit. That in itself is genius. As a writer I practice editing, while sharing my thoughts on Twitter. When I joined on March 14^th, I followed many of the recommended Twitters. I have kept a few of them over the past month, but my community has grown tremendously.

In the beginning I suffered from the initial “Hey if I follow you, why wouldn’t you want to follow me back? I’m nice. No, really I am.” Well that way of thinking does not cut it on Twitter. To understand the site’s importance you must engage in two-way communication with other people. There are many sites that promise to teach you how to grow your followers to 10,000 and more. Twitter for some is a popularity contest. Let’s say you go down that path, and you succeed in enticing 70,000 people to follow you …what now? Are you able to connect with your followers in a way that leaves both parties feeling fulfilled? If your answer is Yes, then my friend, you are a superstar. If you are wondering, I believe there are some individuals on Twitter who can do this. I am just not one of them.

The decision of why to use or be on Twitter is as unique as the people using the site. Twitter provides platforms, audiences, communities and friends. There are so many people on Twitter who have made an impact on me. Every Friday, we have #followfriday, a day to recommend people to others. It took me a while to figure out the concept but once I did, I embraced it completely.

So if you decide to try Twitter, and yes I am speaking to all of my non Twitter friends…you know who you are, here are some of the people that I love. I have set categories for each group so you know why they mean so much to me.

The first group consists of people who get me. I see them as friends, with or without Twitter.

@Cynnergies

cynnergist.blogspot.com

@NasihaRose

http://www.myspace.com/nasiharose

@SherryCarter

http://www.etsy.com/shop.php?user_id=5362581

@Scott03

http://exitpdx.wordpress.com/

@Apollonia_316

http://apollonia316.blogspot.com/

These people are beautiful, inside and out. They understand that Twitter means community.

@KimSherrll

@adamsconsulting

@brandi88

@bodywisdominc

@2Maisha

@inevergrewup

@knikkolette

@TiaSparkles

@bodywisdominc

@pdejager

@loupage

@sashakane

@coachbarb

@vanessacobb

@lisabraithwaite

@jewels37

@jama28

@shruticute

@lindadominique

@dudeman718

I realized one of the reasons I love Twitter so much is that I have the opportunity to learn. To learn from those passionate to share their knowledge, is inspiring.

@jeffreysummers

@lorisummers

@negaratduke

@thebrandbuilder

@jimhunt

@marabg

@vincenthunt

@stacijshelton

@balmeras

@earthlifeinst

@jimhunt

@iconic88

@kriscolvin

@coachcharrise

@aceconcierge

@juliebmack

I love art. The works of these artists include paintings, furniture, bags, jewelry and clothing. Each artist brings their unyielding passion for their craft to Twitter each time I meet up with them.

@urbandecorsue

@naturallyknotty

@silversmyth

@londicreations

@knikkolette

@dianeclancy

@mikeyboy50

@custom111

@artcontests

@imagekind

@lish

@artbynemo

@inheiding

This is my men-to-follow group. Some are single, or married, or Fathers and some are a combination of the three. The point is that they all project greatness.

@KevinAcker

@earthXplorer

@georgewezley

@davidgideon

@jackgraycnn

@bostonwriter

@kikivaldes

@mergatroidFilms

@saranyan

@murnahan

@misternoodle

@PaulSchwend

@gcn1

@RatRaceTrap

@markhundley

@drjoesDIYhealth

@smaha

These people are crazy fun!!!

@AmericanWomannn

@BuzzEdition

@PaulaBrett

@TieshaStarr

@jetpackcomics

@nik_nik

I am sure that time and the possibilities of new connections this list will be amended, but I wanted to show my love to these people without the constraints of 140 characters. Not that there is anything wrong with that!

Choose the path that scares you the most

2009-04-04T09:54:00.005-04:00

A year ago, Peterborough, Ontario, was not in my radar. I knew the City existed, but I had no intentions of visiting or living there. Fast-forward to April 4th, and I cannot think of a better place to live or for my husband and I to raise our daughter. If you are surprised, trust me, I am blown away.

Looking back the decision to move was rather off the cuff. There was a potential job offer, but we needed to live in the community of the company. So I, yes it was me, not my husband who uttered those fateful words “Let’s strike while the iron is hot. Let’s move.” From that moment, we were swept up in the tornado that was “Moving to Peterborough.” I am sure that many of my friends thought we were crazy to move on the possibility of a job. (Possibly they still do). We sold our house in Toronto, two weeks before the real estate market crashed; we bought our home in Peterborough for what we asked for it. It was too easy something had to give.

It was a Wednesday evening when the avalanche hit. The company, yes the one that was the main reason for moving, had laid off a significant number of their employees. There was no chance of a position until possibly Spring/Summer 2009. I did my best to remain positive. “What’s done is done”, I would say. But I was stressed, big time. I was leaving a job I loved, my friends and my home. I was born and raised in Toronto. I spent my university years in Ottawa (another favourite place of mine), but I loved Toronto.

During my “Goodbye Giselle, Good Luck in Peterborough, you crazy fool” Party, the faces of my friends turned pale, ashen, sick, when I muttered that the job had fallen through for now. I assured everyone that all would be fine. Life would be great. This decision was made by two sane adults. I am pretty sure no one bought it.

We moved November 27^th,2008. It was snowing, it was cold and the move was not fun. If I could think of a word that topped horrible, I would insert it here. In another post, I will tantalize you with the exciting details of the move, but I better get to the point of this entry. During the months that followed I wrestled with the decision that we made. I was house bound, my friends were far and I did not have a job. WHOO HAA! This was a great move.

By early January I was starting to go a bit stir crazy, kind of like Jack Nickelson, in The Shining, minus the whole axe wielding need to take out my family. More like, talking to myself, wandering from room to room, you know, that kind of stuff. So what do you do when things get you down, go to Disney World, the fairy tale land of Mickey Mouse, Princesses, and the House of Blues. We decided to drive to Florida. The details of that trip will one day end up as a two-part blog post.

Once I was infused with the Florida sun, my positive and clear thinking was able to return. It was important for me to restore to my creative nature. I needed to take time to write, scrapbook, and watch really bad movies. I needed to make sure I was taking care of myself. It’s funny, when you allow a tiny bit of affirmative thinking to enter your mindset, what great things are in store for you. While on the trip we received an email about a job opportunity, but not for Michael, it was for me. I returned to work in early February.

I decided to give in to what I was feeling, to see where it would take me. I enrolled in driving classes. I started to make greeting cards. I joined Twitter, and because I joined Twitter, I decided to start a blog. Would I have done any of these things if I stayed in Toronto? I most likely would of started to make greeting cards in the summer of 2009. Everything else would be relegated to “One Day.” Of course there are many things about Toronto that I missed and will continue to miss, my friends, shopping, easy access to Shoppers Drug Mart. The decision to move to Peterborough, though wrought with hurdles and misgivings, has turned out to be the place where fear has confronted me head on, and so far..I am winning.

Children. They just want your time.

2009-03-30T23:13:00.005-04:00

I grew up in a community that had a large population of single parents, lower income families and immigrants new to Canada. I understood from a young age that my mother and I were, not financially sound, or for lack of a better word, poor. My childhood despite our circumstances was quite good. The point of me sharing this is not the issue of our finances, rather how much time my mother spent with me. My mother could of worked double shifts at her job with Nestle. But she made the decision the day that I was born to focus on me.

She awoke my creative mind with storytelling, she taught me to read before I entered elementary school, and helped me to understand the value of being polite. When my mother spent time with me she was fully engaged. We had conversations, which could last for hours. I loved to talk even back then. I am sure she must have been tired, but she would ask questions to prompt the discussion further. I know her attention is one of the major reasons, why I have a strong sense of self. Now that I am a mother, I do my best to always be in the moment with Emma.

Over the weekend a good friend of mine came for a visit. She is a recreational therapist at Sunnybrook Health Sciences Center. She has seen first hand the results of unhealthy parenting. During Earth Hour, with candles lit, and a few glasses of wine, we talked about what children need from their parents. It boiled down to time, but time that was entrenched with commitment. A parent needs to be committed to reading, playing and listening to their child. If the time spent, has the little one playing a video game for hours by themselves, there is no engagement, and no connection with the parent. Eventually when the child/teen is ready to connect, it will not be with Mom or Dad. Outside sources will have a greater influence on what the teen will do, think or say. The parent’s voice will become background noise, something that can be tuned out quite easily. When I was growing up, that would be a scary scenario, just think about now.

What does it mean to Submit?

2009-03-26T22:22:00.011-04:00

Yesterday I took part in a heated debate on whether or not wives should be submissive to their husbands. Did we see our husbands as head of the household? It took me a moment to respond, because the question seemed archaic. The question and the responses left me unsettled for the rest of the day. So I took the night to sleep on it before writing this post. From what I could tell, many of the women who agreed with the statement, were in happy, loving and committed relationships. They stated that their voices were heard and respected, but final decisions lay with their husbands. And though I feel that decisions in a relationship should always be mutual, I believe the lives of the women who posted their stories are full of creativity, life and fun.

This is where I am conflicted. I was bothered by the word submit. It was used so effortlessly.

The definitions of Submit from Merriam - Webster’s Dictionary are:

1 a: to yield oneself to the authority or will of another : surrender b: to permit oneself to be subjected to something

2: to defer to or consent to abide by the opinion or authority of another

When you are submitting to the will of someone else, you do not have a voice. Your thoughts and opinions do not matter. The relationship cedes to exist, while a dictatorship commences.

The other part of the debate centered on the man being the head of the household.

This is what I know. I work in an industry, where I see many clients that are widows, who left all the decision making to their husbands. The fear and confusion these women face is unsettling. For years, they were happy to play a different role in the marriage. Suddenly, when their spouse passes away, they are thrown into a world that is foreign to them. They do not know pertinent details of their finances. If they are blessed with adult children, it is ultimately the children who end up managing the portfolios. These women are not used to fending for themselves.

The worst scenario is when they do not have children to help them. I find that these women tend to break off into two categories. The first group latches on the Investment Advisor. They seek his/her approval before they take any step forward. The second group is the opposite. They do not trust anyone. They become angry that at this point in their lives, they are faced with the loss of their spouse and having to learn all the things he did.

I only suggest that if you are in a relationship where one person makes all of the key decisions, make it a point to share and offer your opinions. And, please stay attuned with what is going on with your finances.

As We Forgive, by Catherine Claire Larson– Chapters 3-6

2009-03-24T19:59:00.005-04:00

The next three chapters permits the reader to peak into the life of Joy, her mother Nelly and her sisters. At the end of chapter six, Catherine Claire Larson poses the question “As you think about forgiveness what are your biggest emotional or intellectual objections to it?

I had to read the question a few times. Why would I object to forgiving? Who am I not to forgive?

I believe when you forgive someone it releases you from the burdens of hate, anger and revenge. When you are full of hate, anger and the call for for revenge, your body suffers. In the book, Joy suffered from an ulcer, as result of her emotions. Your mind is entangled with the past. “What ifs” fill your every waking moment, there is no room for the present and “what now”. So from an intellectual standpoint I have no objections to forgiveness and all that it implies within the context of As we Forgive.

From an emotional standpoint, my view on forgiveness changed rather swiftly. On Sunday, I watched my Mom play with Emma. Emma was rolling around on her pillows and blankets, just being a ham. It was a perfect moment. If I lost either of them to natural causes, I would be heartbroken. To lose either of them to a calculated act of violence would be unforgiveable. I allowed myself to travel down that path, and my gut reaction almost floored me. My thoughts swirled around, revenge and retribution. In that moment I wanted the perpetrator to feel the same pain as me.

Then Emma grabbed my foot and asked for cereal.

I began to think rationally. Would I want Emma to be consumed by anger, hate or revenge? Never. I need to set the example to make sure that does not happen. I need to truly embrace forgiveness from both an intellectual and emotional standpoint. I thought I was open to forgiveness. I realize now, that I have a lot to learn.

What do you want from life?

2009-03-22T11:15:00.009-04:00

When you think about your past, present and future, did you or have you, set goals to inspire your dreams to fruition? If you have, then I am happy and proud of you. My only request is that you share your methods with others.

I am a list maker. I thrive on lists, planners, and organization. Before you say it, yes, I know what that makes me! To my dear friend, of almost 30 years, I thank you for understanding my ways. My job requires that I record and remember a vast amount of information. Quite a bit of my work is saved on the computer, but I trust that my pen and paper will never “crash” when I need them the most.

So what does my list-making obsession, have to do with fulfilling your dreams? Simply put, I have found that if you don’t write things down, they will not come true. Make a list of everything you want from life. Be honest, yet general with your selections, this way you do not over analyze your draft copy. For example, in my twenties, my list consisted of the following, I wish for: a boyfriend, to become a writer, graduate university, get an office job and so on. Simple requests, but not very specific. I did receive all that I listed, but not in the way that I hoped. I learned never to make general lists.

Once your general list is completed, walk away for a minute, an hour or a day. When you come back, review it. Now ask yourself a question. How do you foresee your dreams coming true? If you listed that you want a house, what needs to happen for you to get that house.

A job
Saving money
Good credit
Pay off debit
Control spending

The tasks listed above, should be part of your dream action plan.

Another example:

I want boyfriend. Again, a simple request. But be specific. What type of partner are you looking for?

Funny
Smart
Free from psychological issues
Comes from a loving family
Understands and respects his parents

Whatever you feel are necessary attributes in a partner, record them.

Once you have reviewed and edited your list, put it way and try not to think about it. At least for a while. I am serious. Your dream action plan is now in motion. The funny thing is, once your dreams start to come true you may not remember the list. That is ok. But when you do open that drawer where you placed your dream action plan, or turn back the pages in your journal to find the entry, and you scroll through the items down the page, are they still what you want?

Dreams change. You will want to ensure that your path and your list are in sync.

For some, happiness is being an only child

2009-03-20T19:21:00.004-04:00

I am an only child. If my mother’s circumstances had been different, I would have had siblings. My mother adores children. Personally, I am thrilled I was an only child. But for different reasons than you may expect.

Some of my dearest friends are also from one child families. A few wished they were blessed with a brother or sister while a few just enjoyed the solidarity. My reasons for embracing being an only child, rests on my personality. I am an independent soul. I love my freedom and my space, probably not the best qualities for marriage and motherhood.

Deciding to marry and start a family may appear masochistic to someone who requires their freedom. But through marriage and by becoming a mother I gained a deeper understanding of myself and the world around me. I always greeted the concept of sharing but it was not until I became a wife and mother that I understood it. I did not have to relinquish who I was to embrace the needs of my husband and daughter.

I am blessed with many wonderful friends. This was also true, when I was a child. I was never lonely. I could not see the need have another body in the house besides my mother. But that was the key. I had my mother. She was my playmate, my mentor, and my guide. Her role in my life was so encompassing that there was really no room for a brother or sister. I viewed sibling relationships as volatile, aggressive and without love. I was young and some of the examples I came across were not the best. Thank fully as I interacted with people outside my core group, it became clear to me that sibling relationships had the potential to be a powerful guiding force, one that could withstand the heaviest of personal storms. I am thankful to people like my sister in law. Her love and respect for my husband is unconditional. The way that they deal with each other is evidence to me of the true nature of sibling relationships.

So, you may wonder, do I envy those people in loving and supportive sibling relationships? No. I envy people who can take naps.

The ability to relax.

2009-03-19T23:03:00.005-04:00

My husband loves to take naps. From what I understand many individuals reap the benefits from a nap on a weekend afternoon. Unfortunately for me, I am not one of those people and if I am being honest, at times, I envy them.

For years while I worked on Bay Street, I noticed the expressions on the faces of morning commuters were quite similar. People were tense. No one smiled; in fact no one would look you in the eye and somewhere down the line I became one of those people. A few years ago when I changed my office location to mid-town, the haze lifted. My shoulders became less tense, a smile returned to my face and my sprit lifted. I understood how much stress I was carrying and I was ready to change the way I viewed my life and my work.

As I mentioned earlier, a Sunday afternoon nap was not in my horizon. My journey to relaxation lay with keeping busy. I know that sounds a bit off. It was necessary for me to find activities that brought me joy and renewed my spirit. I started simple. I attempted to eat breakfast, lunch and dinner, as often as possible. I read, played golf, wrote in my journal or watched a movie, without feeling guilty, that I was wasting time. I started to scrapbook, created picture dvds for friends and family, and discovered the art of card making. I gave myself permission to have fun, which unleashed my imagination and creativity.

As I reflect on the past, I am grateful that I was part of the downtown morning commute. For without it, I would not be where I am now. Relaxed.

A few words on friendships

2009-03-18T23:12:00.007-04:00

Friends often appear in our lives right when we need them most. Though it may not always correspond with our personal wants, friends sometimes leave us in the same fashion.

My Mother has said, time and again, that I am blessed with lovely friends. She was right. My friends are unique, strong, honest and beautiful. But, just as nothing in life is for certain, some friendships do not last. Through the years I have met wonderful people who flowed into my life, yet for one reason or another those friendships faded. I often wonder, how their lives turned out. Did they follow their dreams?

While attending university I met four women who I thought would remain in my life for years. Unfortunately, they did not. But while the friendships lasted, I was nourished and rewarded. Each of them allowed me to see the world from a new perspective and for that I am grateful.

I do my best never to take the people in my life for granted. I encourage you to do the same. Send someone you care about, an email, letter, or even a card. A quick call just to say “Hi” can do wonders.

Life is precious and so are our friends, find the time.

A little goes a long way

2009-03-17T21:26:00.006-04:00

For the past few days my mind has gone back to a statement my grade six teacher, Mr. Dale, made to our class. He forewarned that my generation would suffer from a serious water shortage. The prediction terrified me when I was eleven, though at the time I laughed off his comment, along with my friends.

"So, what you’re saying is that one day we will turn on our taps and nothing will come out?” asked a boy in our class.

“Quite possibly,” Mr. Dale replied.

Twenty-four years later, as I take a look at our world, I fear that he was right. So what am I doing about it? As a mother it is my responsibility to ensure that I raise my daughter with kindness, compassion, respect and an honest moral code. Should I not give my planet the same courtesy? It is important for me to look my daughter in the eye, and know that I tried. It does not matter how large or small the act, the point is to do something.

In my home, if you pour yourself a glass of water, you finish it. Sounds simple, stupid even, but how may times have we started to drink a glass of water, and midway, became full or our thirst was quenched and then poured the remaining water down the drain. On countless occasions I have been guilty of that. Or, while washing my face, and using cleanser, I kept the tap running. I acted as if water was a never-ending resource. This too, has stopped. I make sure to turn off the tap while cleaning my face.

Both are small acts, but if more people did them, the future of clean water may change course, for the better.

My thoughts on As we Forgive - Chapters 1 - 3

2009-03-16T19:27:00.004-04:00

I am reading As We Forgive by Catherine Claire Larson. I completed chapter one.

My heart understands Restoration, Shalom, and the Umuvumu Tree Project. My mind is having a harder time adjusting.

I had goose bumps while reading the chapter. I can not begin to fathom the depths of suffering that Rosaria has endured. To have the power to forgive, with an open heart, Saveri, the man who slaughtered Rosaria's sister Christine and her two children. As I write this, I still can not express how her story has touched me. This woman defines greatness.

I was raised to believe that forgiveness cleansed your soul. It took me many years to grasp the concept. But now, that I have peaked into the life of one who embodies forgiveness, I take a step back.

What is my forgiveness capacity?

Could I forgive someone who killed my love ones? Would I?

What about a new business?

2009-03-15T09:35:00.001-04:00

Yesterday I was asked what was the point of a blog. My answer was "A blog is an arena to put your thoughts out to the world. Sometimes the thoughts are organized with a clear message attached, but sometimes they are random." For now, my blog will consist of random thoughts.

This morning I laid in bed until 7 am. I was given the opportunity to sleep in, but my mimd was racing. Work, kept creeping into my mind. Not my work, but work in general. I hear numbers of 500,000 + out of work. To me, this means 500,000+ families out of work. 500,000+ less people to buy, spend and consume. So those out there who do have jobs, (me included), we are lucky. I know tomorrow you may not feel that way.

You know that person at work, who does everything in their power to make your life miserable. These are the people who drive us mad, and once in a while, when life at work becomes unbearable, we quit our jobs just to get away from these folks. It's one thing when Miss or Mr. Naysayer is your co-worker, but what about when they are your boss. What then? With the world's economy at current time, looking quite bleak, I figure there are quite a few out there who would suggest to take it, figure it out, be happy that you have a paycheque coming in. And to a degree, those who have lost the ability to support themselves, their families and help the economy have a point. But that raises another question, how do you find joy in what you are doing?

One idea, if you have an entrepreneurial spirit, is to start your own business. It's been said that every success started with an idea. If you have that idea and want to take it further, start researching. Use the internet to your advantage. Research business plans, then create one. Find out everything you need to start your business and write it down. Then email, mail, courier your plan to President Obama, or Prime Minister Harper or who ever is in charge of running your country. I keep reading that our leaders are focused on helping the economy. To do that, people need to work. Why not be proactive? Who knows how long it will take our leaders to find you a job, find one for yourself, and one you will enjoy doing. A start up business requires a detailed plan, a realistic schedule, patience, time and funding. If you have four out of the five, you are already ahead of the game. And hopefully the Powers That Be, see your potential, and do something good with their power.

Ok, so maybe the world leaders, will not have time to read your business plan, don't stop there. Use every resource available to you. You may even have a community organization that helps start ups. Just keep at it. If you want it bad enough, stay persistent.

To do this requires courage and a belief in yourself. I am figuring that you have both.

See you for now.

Time to start

2009-03-14T11:34:00.001-04:00

Today, March 14th, I decided to try something different. I will start a blog. A huge thank you to Joel Heffner. I just started to follow him on twitter. He has a short bit on the difference between writers and procrastinators. For too long have i followed down the procrastinator highway. So, here I am.

As a child my mother would make up the most wonderful stories. I inherited that love of storytelling. A few years ago I decided to take a course, Creative writing by

correspondence, from Humber College. If you are interested in writing, I recommend it. But know, the course is not for the faint of heart. You will have your writing critiqued by a published author. Imagine showing off your baby to someone and having them tell you "well, I'm sure, she will have a great personality." The course does not booster your ego. It is raw, honest and compelling. You will end up looking at your work with different eyes. I would consider taking the course again, sometime in the future.

My daughter is up from her nap, so it is time to go.

Bye for now.