The Pressures Of Being Yourself

Photo taken by GMM

Do you ever get sick of hearing from people, just be yourself? It’s all well and good for the masses to go around and tell you to just be you.  Problem is, what if you’re having trouble figuring out just who you are?  

Growing up I knew exactly who I wanted to be. My alter ego had long wavy dark hair. She was tall, slim and of course was blessed with flawless skin. She was the mirror image of all of my friends, and the opposite of me. It was hard for me to concern myself with being beautiful on the inside, when I was struggling so hard with accepting and loving my self on the outside. 

I wish I could tell you that I had an epiphany one lovely day during my pubescent years. But I didn’t. What I did have was the knowledge that I was smart and thankfully I also had the unconditional love of my mother. Learning to embrace my looks, my body, my personality, my hair, my nose, my skin, my colour, my height, my weight, my everything, took time. A long, long time.  

One particular preoccupation, which helped me during these years, was writing. I could release all the ugliness that I felt, into my journal.  I also made people laugh, and that had nothing to do with physical beauty. That gift came from the inside. I concentrated on my strengths, and yes, I still caused myself bouts of anxiety from time to time, that I was not textbook beautiful.  But that apprehension dwindled. It wasn’t as simple as pushing my fantasy alter ego to one side, instead I decided to demolish her.  And that is when the turmoil within me started to disperse.  The universe does something funny when you learn to really love yourself; it tends to love you back.

It’s freaking hard to figure stuff out, with all the noise, and nonsense out there providing asinine answers as to how you should feel, be, and look.  My thoughts, when it gets too much, find your north star.  Find the one person, who is true, who grounds you, and makes you feel safe.  And if you do not have a person like that in your life, then find the one thing that you do, that fills you with love.

What advice do you have on how to accept and love yourself?