Mother of the Year - Not in my Future
I realized something the other day. I will never win Mother of the Year. Really, I won’t. In my mind women who win Mother of the Year are patient, calm, soothing, beautiful, and relaxed, ok, they are probably medicated, but nonetheless they never yell at their kids. When Emma hits that last nerve, I yell. Then I feel bad. Maybe A-type personalities should not have children.
Here’s my issue. I want Emma to grow up to be a good person. I pray that she understands her self worth, and values the thoughts and lives of others. I hope that she is confident without becoming arrogant. I want her to live each day as she does now, to its’ fullest. So what’s the issue you ask? She obviously was first in line when the good Lord handed out the stubborn gene. I want her to do things my way, and low and behold, my child has other ideas. She’s only three. What’s up with that? The funny thing is, as much as I want to pull out my hair sometimes, I am also very proud of her. Yes, she tests her limits, as all kids do, but deep inside, way down deep, I am thrilled that she does not always just give in to what I say. She stands up for herself. And she will do her best to wait you out until she gets what she wants. Unfortunately for her, I have all the time in the world.
Do I get upset when she cries? The answer is Yes, and No. If Emma is hurt or sick, or there is truly something wrong, there is nothing in this world that will keep me from my child. BUT, if she is crying because she is not getting her way, well tough. Cry on little baby, cry on! Parents know that crying is a weapon in a child’s arsenal. But yet, time and time again, the crying weapon is loaded and cocked, and parents quickly give in. Note to parents, we are not helping our kids. In fact by giving in each time they cry for something that is not going their way, we are creating monsters.
All right, I can see all of your eyes rolling and your heads swaying. You are probably thinking I have never experienced the dreaded Mall Meltdown. You know the one, with the kicking, screaming, hitting and my personal favourite, biting. My friends on more than one occasion I have been the lucky recipient of the Mall Meltdown. My advice. Grow a pair. The point of a Mall Meltdown is for you to be embarrassed and concede. When your child is acting like the demon seed, and you wish to the heavens you had some Holy Water to throw on them, do not give in. Wait them out. If you can’t wait them out, pick them up and leave. Don’t scream over them; don’t use idle threats, just leave. Simple. Diffuse the situation. You need to calm down. I am pretty sure that by now you feel that everyone at the mall believes that you cannot handle your child, but worse than that, you feel that they may be right. You need to retreat to your comfort zone. You need to breathe. Go home.
If our children receive the reaction they are looking for in us, trust me they will repeat their behaviour. If they don’t…..then maybe, just maybe your next trip to the mall will be without incident. One final tip, during that visit to the mall, don’t pass by any toy stores, food courts, pet stores, cinemas, video game stores, better yet, just hire a babysitter and go to the mall alone!